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4 reasons Kenyans should mind their business

19 May 2015, 18:21 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - And I can admit that I am one of them. We approach life with that certain type of vivacity, exuberism, humor, make it interesting and fun. So when mine is abit tedious and boring, I will peep over the wall to your business and if it is worse, it will make me feel better about mine.

One of my worst habits is, when I am in a matatu, and the traffic is crazy, there is no movement and I am bored; I will help you read your texts. I am not the only one either, you might think that the backbench is safe. I was replying to some messages on my phone and this ‘gentleman’ (I am using this term lightly) who was sat beside me was helping me with that albeit silently only using the sense of sight. I did not frown, try to hide my phone or give him a dirty look. This is what I did. I let him read all the gentle ones, then I looked for the most outrageous contact on my phone and texted (or is it sext?) them a very bad, dirty, censored….. all the nasty words you can think of-type of message! I think I ruined his sight because he had them closed for the rest of the journey and Kajiado is not a short journey especially in the evening. Moral of the story: if you are at the front and you do not want us to read your texts, I do not know what you can do because we are equipped with chameleon eyes.

It does not end there either, another thing I have noticed is in a matatu also.When a person buys the paper in the morning-a newspaper! If it is a 14-seater, we will all read that paper with them. We even get disgruntled when you turn the page before we are done. To all the people who buy newspapers, ‘read slower to make sure we are all done by the time you turn the page). The funny ones are the ones who know we are reading and so he tries to hide it by squeezing his face inside the pages. We can still see you know!

The worst is when we now take this small bad habits are carry them to bigger issues.

I want to know what you were shouting about with your husband last night

It’s not exclusive to women either, I have noticed that men can be gossipy too. When you live in rented flats it is the worst, unless you are isolated in some big land, someone will inquire what you are about in your home. They want to know what you ate/eat, what size of television you have, is your bra mtumba or from Woolworths? They want to know. One wonders when they get the time to live their own lives because they are so busy in yours. They are also not apologetic about it.

They tell you how to raise your children

I will admit there was a point, I lived in a flat and those children were so noisy, chaotic and ill behaved. So I do allow that if your children are spawns of the devil and they are doing it at my doorstep, I do reserve the right to discipline someone. If they are in your territory, I could care less.

On the other hand, there is that category that likes giving unsolicited advice because they teach Sunday school; that makes them experts at handling children. If you are one of those, if I did not ask you, do not tell me. Save yourself that oxygen!

The ones that tell you how to handle your husband

Women are stupid, I will start off with that one. Why in all heavens do you listen to someone that 1. Is divorced 2. Does not know where her husband is 3. You have known her for two days 4. Just because you share a chama.

Let me give you advice that is free, do not listen to other women. There is no better advisor than your own intuition and common sense.

They think they can do the job better

Teaching me something new is good in fact, I encourage dissemination of information but if you are advising me on something I am already doing but using bigger words to make your method look superior. Stay in your lane!

If I am doing my job and you see that I am doing it, save the comments for Facebook. If it is not productive information then you obviously already know I do not need it.

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