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4 questions to ask before dating

05 October 2015, 16:19 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Meaning of messing with someone:  being their girlfriend, being his sex buddy, about to get yourself pregnant by him, being his wife and so forth and so on.

Do you have a girlfriend?

I have discovered that men can be so sneaky. They imply better than they do explicit. If he has a girl he will tell you like in slips of conversation that you are not really paying attention to like when you are drunk or when he has taken you on a date and is answering her text. He hooks you in then lays out the bomb afterwards. Then he gives you a dumb look, ‘Oh, I did not tell you? But I asked if you had a man that was your cue to ask me. You didn’t!’

If he is flirting, taking you out on dates and doing boyfriend things with you, do not assume he is single, ask him!

Do you have a girlfriend, wife, children, woman, women who think you are something to them?

Refer to the above text. I really do not care if your intention is to be a side chick because it is none of my business and you are going to do what you want either way. The point is to get the information for you to make an informed decision. If he already has a family, you do not want to get pregnant by him. If he has a wife, unless you want to be a second wife then he is someone you should not be making plans with. Women that get into that situation fell in then found out later and at times they have regrets (at times most don’t have regrets) and tell themselves I wish I knew. Ask him, it is his problem if he gets angry but your right to make a decision that is good for you and not him.

What do you do?

This past weekend I called someone back because they gave me their card and not their phone number. I have a rule; I do not mess with bum idle men/people. You have to be helping me grow not just be placeholder in my life. He was talking to me, looking very interested and so I asked the one question that men hate to be asked by women they are trying to get into bed, ‘what do you do?’ At that time I think I was trying to get rid of him. He gave me a very vague answer, ‘I do this and that!’ That sealed the deal for me because within the next few minutes I found a way to start conversation with a large group of people to avoid him. The guy found me again, with another drink and his card in his hand.

Do not be afraid to ask someone what they do because you are chasing them away that is how you end up of taking care of someone when you have your own problems. He should be the one taking care of you. If you are good enough to lie with, you are good enough to know his business. Let him get away with vague answers now, he will do it the whole time you two are together.


Are you clean?

Safe, disease free, or not going to give you something; basically all of the above. Condoms are good but they slip off or you get drunk and do something that you should not be doing or get caught up in the moment whereby its 12 in the night and you ran out then you become dumb and let things happen. It is not just about them being 99% effective because if you are honest with yourself you have had unprotected sex either way then you panic and ask the question the following day and not go to the hospital. You also pray and tell God you will not do it again if he makes sure you get away with it. But that’s a lie because you do it again. So, before you put anything in your mouth, or any other places, ask this guy, are you safe? You will not be able to enjoy him if you are one step in the grave you know.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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