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4 mistakes women always make

28 September 2015, 19:18 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women always make relationship mistakes. Here are 4 common ones.

Allowing irrelevance to take up space in our lives

Let me explain it this way; you have been in a relationship let us say for 5-6 years. You assume that now that is the person you should spend the rest of your life with because that is a really long time, which is true. What we tend to never take into account is that maybe that relationship started when you were in your early 20s, so now you may be around 28-30. In that time, you grew apart and you cannot be with this person anymore and you know it. But because everyone is saying that is a lot of time to go to waste, you choose to plan a wedding and have children with the person who is wrong for you and you know it. Just ask yourself, ‘is it worth wasting more of your time by continuing something that should have ended a long time ago?’

Don’t allow fear to dictate your actions

We tend to make very clever and wise decisions when it comes to other aspects of our lives; money, cutting off friends who turn out to be frienemies, work and business but when it comes to relationships, fear rules us more than any other factor. If I leave him, will I be able to get someone else? If I do not have his child now, will I get another chance to trap him? If I do not see him this weekend, will there be another woman with him? It just spirals and spirals until you make bad decisions because you are trying to hold onto a man that is bad for you or not for you at all. Go out for the weekend and have fun, if he wants to play and you find out, he was not for you. Leave him if he does not treat you like the way you want, take time off and relax for a minute from that circus. It gets better when you give yourself time off.

Stop making excuses for him

Do not make excuses for someone. At least let them use some effort in that part of your ‘relationship’. Let them explain themselves. You are here, having laid out your expectations, told him what you want but all he wants to do is tell you how he cannot meet them. Then you help him by giving him excuses you can work with. I know work has not been great…whose work is always great? But they make it work with the person they actually like. I can serve this part of your life for you, while she does the other part. Which one are you servicing though?

You are taken advantage of when you have no clue about yourself

If you do not know yourself then do not feel wronged when someone helps themselves to you. If they can exploit you, they will. You have to learn to take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Not cry wolf afterwards yet you allowed it. Have an idea of what you expect from people/ someone, if they do not meet them then leave them alone. They are not going to change just because you do something for them. They just end up earning more from your bad decision making.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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