4 mistakes women always make
28 September 2015, 19:18
Nairobi - Women always make relationship mistakes. Here are 4 common ones.
Allowing irrelevance to take up space in our lives
Let me explain it this way; you have been in a relationship
let us say for 5-6 years. You assume that now that is the person you should
spend the rest of your life with because that is a really long time, which is
true. What we tend to never take into account is that maybe that relationship
started when you were in your early 20s, so now you may be around 28-30. In
that time, you grew apart and you cannot be with this person anymore and you
know it. But because everyone is saying that is a lot of time to go to waste,
you choose to plan a wedding and have children with the person who is wrong for
you and you know it. Just ask yourself, ‘is it worth wasting more of your time
by continuing something that should have ended a long time ago?’
Don’t allow fear to dictate your actions
We tend to make very clever and wise decisions when it comes
to other aspects of our lives; money, cutting off friends who turn out to be frienemies,
work and business but when it comes to relationships, fear rules us more than
any other factor. If I leave him, will I be able to get someone else? If I do not
have his child now, will I get another chance to trap him? If I do not see him
this weekend, will there be another woman with him? It just spirals and spirals
until you make bad decisions because you are trying to hold onto a man that is
bad for you or not for you at all. Go out for the weekend and have fun, if he
wants to play and you find out, he was not for you. Leave him if he does not
treat you like the way you want, take time off and relax for a minute from that
circus. It gets better when you give yourself time off.
Stop making excuses for him
Do not make excuses for someone. At least let them use some
effort in that part of your ‘relationship’. Let them explain themselves. You
are here, having laid out your expectations, told him what you want but all he
wants to do is tell you how he cannot meet them. Then you help him by giving
him excuses you can work with. I know work has not been great…whose work is
always great? But they make it work with the person they actually like. I can
serve this part of your life for you, while she does the other part. Which one
are you servicing though?
You are taken advantage of when you have no clue about
If you do not know yourself then do not feel wronged when
someone helps themselves to you. If they can exploit you, they will. You have
to learn to take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Not cry wolf
afterwards yet you allowed it. Have an idea of what you expect from people/
someone, if they do not meet them then leave them alone. They are not going to
change just because you do something for them. They just end up earning more
from your bad decision making.
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