4 lies women tell each other
09 March 2016, 18:43
Nairobi - How exactly does this saying go? ‘Surround yourself with
women that wear heels as high as yours. Those that will empower you and will
push you but not bring you down!’ Something like that because I am sure I have
gotten some bits wrong. Basically, the saying talks about keeping good company
when it comes to the women that are around you-advice for women.
It is all going well; just wait until you factor in men! I
am still looking for these women because the minute men come into anything it
all ends up in shambles. Trust me; I know! The other day, I am on the phone
lurking on social media and you know that point that you are so into it that
anything that comes in-phone call or text you automatically pick it up without
checking. I was almost doing it until I registered the number. It was
definitely someone I did not want to talk to; I left them in 2015! I stare at
it for what felt like an hour because they really were persistent and I knew no
one had died so I was waiting for them to be done. They are also the types that
take another person’s phone and try calling with a different number-basically
ruined my moment.
I had had a falling out with them because they asked me my
honest opinion about what one of them should do in case a man turns out to be a
scumbag and starts treating her like one as well. Turns out I was not meant to
give my honest opinion but say as long as the man is almost rich and successful
you should stick it out. The fact that I gave a negative answer as compared to
everyone else meant that I also wanted him for myself-‘I was trying to ruin her
good relationship!’ After that I just never communicated with them so the fact
that they were calling me now meant they wanted to bring their confusion from
2015 into my 2016. I was definitely not here for that. Thus, I have been
dodging phone calls since then up until now-you can’t block numbers in this
China phone I own. (Of all the things that the China men could be negligent on
in a phone; it had to be blocking? Really!)
Lies women tell their friends-men are all the same
It is this lie that has led to some of your friends
snatching your own man. Look at it this way; she comes to you for advice and
instead of you encouraging her to look for someone better because she can do
better. You tell her, ‘Even mine is not that good, he has his moments. You just
don’t see them because he is pretending.’ Your friend will think, ‘Better the
devil I know than the one I do not.’ That is why she will not stick her neck
out there to look for her own but would rather take yours that you are
Misery loves company
That is why your friend will encourage you to stick around
in your bad relationship because she is also not ready to let go of her bad relationship.
You know you are ready to move on and want to move on but you keep seeking
validation from a person who is clearly not having it any better. For some,
they will never let you know that they are having it rough so they feel
encouraged when they see you going through worse.’ We can go through this
together!’ Some women are not in bad relationships because they cannot do
better but because they have a person to commiserate with.
‘This is what women do nowadays, why do you have to be in the Stone Age?’
Why does he have to treat you like that? Why do you have to
be like that? I am that friend, that after I give you advice will still say in
the end, ‘But that is my opinion anyway. You do not have to listen to it!’
The truth is, at the end of the day I am not in the
relationship with you. You do what needs to be done and what has made your
relationship successful so far. It is good to get opinions, read out of the box
and try to improve. But if you have always done something because you come from
a traditional home and it has worked for you; then keep doing it.
Because if you mess it up and go back to your friend she
will reserve the right to say, ‘…But that is not what I meant!’ What will you
do then because now you have lost what really mattered to you?
If you are not comfortable doing something, don’t do it because your
friend has told you
Maybe it is asking for money or asking for things that you
know someone cannot afford or asking someone to go out of pocket because that
is what is apparently done these days.
If you like your relationship and it is working; take into
account what you are told. A friend might live a lavish lifestyle and you do
not; neither does your man. A friend will tell you, ‘you need someone like
this, leave this one. He does not know how to take care of you.’ You can easily
get what you wished for or whatever your friend wishes for you but are you
ready to handle whatever comes with it?
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