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4 lies women tell each other

09 March 2016, 18:43 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - How exactly does this saying go? ‘Surround yourself with women that wear heels as high as yours. Those that will empower you and will push you but not bring you down!’ Something like that because I am sure I have gotten some bits wrong. Basically, the saying talks about keeping good company when it comes to the women that are around you-advice for women.

It is all going well; just wait until you factor in men! I am still looking for these women because the minute men come into anything it all ends up in shambles. Trust me; I know! The other day, I am on the phone lurking on social media and you know that point that you are so into it that anything that comes in-phone call or text you automatically pick it up without checking. I was almost doing it until I registered the number. It was definitely someone I did not want to talk to; I left them in 2015! I stare at it for what felt like an hour because they really were persistent and I knew no one had died so I was waiting for them to be done. They are also the types that take another person’s phone and try calling with a different number-basically ruined my moment. 

I had had a falling out with them because they asked me my honest opinion about what one of them should do in case a man turns out to be a scumbag and starts treating her like one as well. Turns out I was not meant to give my honest opinion but say as long as the man is almost rich and successful you should stick it out. The fact that I gave a negative answer as compared to everyone else meant that I also wanted him for myself-‘I was trying to ruin her good relationship!’ After that I just never communicated with them so the fact that they were calling me now meant they wanted to bring their confusion from 2015 into my 2016. I was definitely not here for that. Thus, I have been dodging phone calls since then up until now-you can’t block numbers in this China phone I own. (Of all the things that the China men could be negligent on in a phone; it had to be blocking? Really!)

Lies women tell their friends-men are all the same

It is this lie that has led to some of your friends snatching your own man. Look at it this way; she comes to you for advice and instead of you encouraging her to look for someone better because she can do better. You tell her, ‘Even mine is not that good, he has his moments. You just don’t see them because he is pretending.’ Your friend will think, ‘Better the devil I know than the one I do not.’ That is why she will not stick her neck out there to look for her own but would rather take yours that you are complaining about.

Misery loves company

That is why your friend will encourage you to stick around in your bad relationship because she is also not ready to let go of her bad relationship. You know you are ready to move on and want to move on but you keep seeking validation from a person who is clearly not having it any better. For some, they will never let you know that they are having it rough so they feel encouraged when they see you going through worse.’ We can go through this together!’ Some women are not in bad relationships because they cannot do better but because they have a person to commiserate with.

‘This is what women do nowadays, why do you have to be in the Stone Age?’

Why does he have to treat you like that? Why do you have to be like that? I am that friend, that after I give you advice will still say in the end, ‘But that is my opinion anyway. You do not have to listen to it!’

The truth is, at the end of the day I am not in the relationship with you. You do what needs to be done and what has made your relationship successful so far. It is good to get opinions, read out of the box and try to improve. But if you have always done something because you come from a traditional home and it has worked for you; then keep doing it.

Because if you mess it up and go back to your friend she will reserve the right to say, ‘…But that is not what I meant!’ What will you do then because now you have lost what really mattered to you?

If you are not comfortable doing something, don’t do it because your friend has told you

Maybe it is asking for money or asking for things that you know someone cannot afford or asking someone to go out of pocket because that is what is apparently done these days.

If you like your relationship and it is working; take into account what you are told. A friend might live a lavish lifestyle and you do not; neither does your man. A friend will tell you, ‘you need someone like this, leave this one. He does not know how to take care of you.’ You can easily get what you wished for or whatever your friend wishes for you but are you ready to handle whatever comes with it?

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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