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4 keys to failed sex

30 June 2015, 11:42 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Maybe saying no one is pushing it, let us just say, the good catch avoids you like a plague as soon as they smell you. No, smell your attitude!

Do I have an attitude? I hope not. If it is one that makes people not want to be around me, I would hope that I do not have it and so does everybody else feel the same way. Especially when it comes to my dating life and relationships, I hope I do not have an attitude. I hope I am a very open minded person but not too open minded that I would go around being desperate for clown men.

You have a bad attitude if

You think you are the greatest thing since a loaf of bread

We all have this one to some extent. We only play it differently. There is that guy who you really like that will never see it and there is that one that you will make run circles around you because you think he is not worth your time. But the worst is usually if you carry it with you to all your dates, like a diva! You cannot eat this, cannot do that cannot be seen this place and be seen with some people. You have demands of a Louboutin when you are/ look like that Ngoma rubber shoe that came in the 90s.

You do not respect the other person’s time and schedule

We could have gone with respect, period! But that usually has to be earned. We are talking about someone who arrives on dates 3-5 hours later and does not feel like it is wrong. It is okay to try and beat Nairobi traffic but when you are making the date put that into consideration especially if it is a coffee or lunch date. People have things to do with their time unless the both of you are idlers then you can arrive whenever you want. But do not do it in the name of, ‘a man/ gentleman will show me appreciation by waiting as long as I get to arrive!’ That is not appreciation but disrespect of the other person, which leaves a bad impression every time you do it to the same person.

We can give allowances to people living in the Rongai diaspora but I try to be punctual. Actually I am a very punctual person.

You do not reciprocate

One good turn deserves another. In a man’s case, you require a couple of good turns before you are accepted in her graces. I am not talking about counting number of days to sex! Some women take it for granted that their date treats them nicely, with respect, with courtesy and consideration. Trust me, you never want to meet the complete opposite of that. If you are someone that keeps poking holes, looking for the negative and keep making demands. But you never show your appreciation but being the lady that he deserves, then why should he stick around when he can get better treatment from another woman. Be careful to see if you push good dates/ suitors by being a bad person to them because some book told you to act a certain way to gauge his interest.

Newsflash; he will not have read the same book to know that is what you are doing. He will take it as bad attitude on your part and will leave. Same applies for the men too. If she treats you nice but you are too grown to appreciate it then blink twice and she is gone. 

Do not pay attention to your dates

Nothing worse than going anywhere with someone who already looks like they have something stuck up their nether regions. They look bored, they look disinterested and the most you will get out of them is a nod. Why did you come then? Why did you agree? Did you not have anything better to do with your time than waste both people’s time?

If you do not want to go on the date, do not go. Don’t waste time, effort and that good food with poor conversation, no humor and lack of proper listening skills with wandering eyes and attention. What that simply communicates is that you will do the same in a relationship and no one wants to deal with that.

Bad attitude comes in a lot of forms but I am sure whatever I have omitted, you can spot it out in yourself. The best thing you can do if you really want to start enjoying yourself is take it out of the equation. And everyone will have a much better time and look forward to the next round.

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