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4 good reasons you should think twice about marriage

14 September 2016, 09:12 Bernard Lugagah

I know when you have been in love for the whole of a few minutes or a few decades, your mind inevitably gravitates towards marriage. It seems the most logical thing to do in the circumstances, except that perhaps it isn’t. Marriage has been touted as a social good, laden with benefits. It may have been so once, but not anymore. Over a third of all marriages end in their first five years. Others limp on for a few more years while yet others are held together only by circumstances beyond control. Rare is the happy decades old couple. In any case, most of the benefits of marriage can be had without having to marry.

So, if you have been thinking of marriage, here are a few things you should know about it that are overrated (and feel free to disregard them; I know I am going to):

1. Marriage won’t make you happier

What makes your life longer and happier is the quality of it. It is how fulfilling you feel your life is, and the positive attitude you maintain. It is how you take care of your body, mind and soul. If your mind, soul and body are in good health, your social life and by extension your marriage will only be complimentary. Otherwise no marriage is going to plug the void in your personality and make a discontented pessimist live a hundred happy years. It will only multiply and spread the negativity. Sad and lonely? Get a life, not a wife.  

2. Unwanted associations

Strained relations between in-laws are legendary and you hardly want a part in them. When you marry your partner’s relatives arrogate to themselves the right to direct your cooking and housekeeping and parenting from the sidelines. They also want to criticize your spousal skills and give your partner tips and hints on how to keep you in line. No, you don’t need that.

Read Also: Dating a divorced man

3. Safe and interesting sex

It is a cruel illusion marital sex is guaranteed and safe. My brother, my sister, the quantity, quality and variety that sex requires is not designed to last the length of marriage. There is lots of advice out there on how to spice it, but honestly, you can flip a coin only a number of times. That’s why couples seek satisfaction beyond the marriage. And this has made marital sex very risky. Recent research shows that the marital bed has become a busy conduit for HIV/AIDS.

4. Having a family

The desire to have children is ingrained in all of us, and it is true a stable family ensures for children proper physical, mental and social development, all of which boost their chances of success. It is also an unfortunate truth that an unstable family makes children vulnerable to all manner of abuse and hampers their development in an irreparable manner. A single parent family is better than unstable marriage. And according to available statistical proof, your marriage is more likely than not to be terrible. You don’t have to marry to have kids.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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