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4 common lies in relationships

30 April 2015, 15:37 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  At times, you just do not want to know. Chances are you already know what you think is reality, the person you should ask has told you the opposite but you like the sound of what they tell you as compared to the one instinct is shouting about. You would rather deal with the mellow drama after you have enjoyed the good bits. That is what both men and women do when it comes to their significant other.  

When your spouse tells you they have a job but you know they do not

As long as the bacon gets to the house you would rather not know where it is coming from. Applies to the ladies. You know your man is lying when he leaves the house to go to work. One day at 6 the next at 10 since the meeting was pushed back. He says he works at an office. What office is that that he goes to at his own leisure yet he is not the boss. You have never heard or seen of any work colleagues. When you ask what he does, the answer is this and that but as long as he brings you the loaf of bread and milk in the evening you will let it slide as long as it does not end with any of you in jail.

No one wants to test waters where you ask where the money is coming from or if it is illegal lest you are told, ‘if it is not there then why do I have to do this and that, do it yourself.’ Such answers is why we would rather live with ignorance.

When he says he is not married

You like that he is a gentleman, he takes care of your needs; financial, and physical. We are ruling out emotional because he is never there and he is available on odd days… or is it nights alone? You have never met any of his friends or relatives. He does not include you in any part of his life. If you ask, it is quickly shut down without any response-these are the reasons why we are ruling out emotional.

Since you are well taken care of, you apply ignorance because you do not want to destabilize that boat and end up with a Titanic type of a situation.

When they are not honest about their medical history

We tend to apply that term history very well because we do not want to start the here and now and ruin everything.

In the heat of the moment or when you want to take the relationship an extra mile, raise a hand if you ever ask your partner what their situation is? That will ruin the moment and chances are, ruin you ‘hitting’ it. So you just ignore and hope that the condom does not slip up or break and leave you with some misdemeanors. That is how easy ignorance always takes a front seat when it comes to sex and relationships.

When she lies about herself

Pretense is a term that should be defined as, ‘when a woman sees a man that is way out of her league and decides to reinvent a completely new self to suit his station in life.’

Family will be overthrown, accents will be forced, style will be copied, friends will be picked and the man will have no clue. It all does not make sense to him but at times, boredom with the normal  everyday life will force sense out of his head and a tingly feeling down below that forces him to acknowledge that she might be what she portrays to be.

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