3 ways women ruin relationships
19 August 2015, 15:45
Nairobi - I am not saying this is a relationship but I am going to
tell you what I did this morning to make sure it would never get to that stage.
I got a call from someone this morning, a man, wishing me a
good morning and it looked like it was going to be a long conversation. I did
not want to pick the call (just because I do not like talking in the morning)
but I also did not want to be rude because I knew I was not going to return the
call if I missed it. The first thing that hit me was his accent (soft word for
mother tongue influence). I am not against tribes but you know what I am
talking about. 42 tribes I am sure you have encountered those.
It got me so turned off I woke up! I was already cancelling
him off my list of contenders. He should have just sent me a text, he could
have still been on the list.
Choosing the attractive, no-mother tongue influenced guy over
If we all chose relationships based on personality and not
the physical attractiveness of the person, maybe we might all be a little bit
happier. Women, and even men too (so that we are not point fingers), we tend to
overlook the guy who was nice to us and continue looking longingly at that guy
who has not yet paid attention to us in the hopes that he will notice us and
have something with us. In the end we end up losing out on both because the
nice guy eventually moves on because he realizes he was a second choice. No one
likes being second choice to anyone. Or getting used goods.
Reality versus Fantasy
Fantasy: get a rich, good-looking, hardworking, generous,
supportive, young and mature guy who will love you for you.
Reality: there’s always something missing. Young but not
mature. Rich but not supportive because he is always busy. Hardworking but
barely available. Has all good husband qualities but not as good looking as you
would like. Wealthy but narcissistic and does not love you for you, but as an
In fantasy, you get your ideal. In reality you have to get
over yourself. You will have to compromise on things. Do not let a guy go
because he does not fit your ideal. Having a list is good because it gives you
something to work with. It is a map. But maps are never 100%. There is always
that hill that is yet to be discovered or was left out.
Meaning that you are not yet mature to handle a real
relationship with a real man. You have to realize that men are human beings too
and they are prone to err. Even more so than we are. They make mistakes, they
will not fulfill all our desires and they can also cry. Show emotion. Do not be
childish about things not going your way. Be woman enough to understand how
your man works.
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