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3 ways to dodge his female relatives

26 August 2015, 18:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - His female relatives are probably the biggest impediment to your relationship. How do you deal with them?

The worst thing about men being selective on what they hear or see is when you become part of that circus.

You can deal with it when it is in your home and you are partly in control but when you are taken out of that environment to his family’s environment, you are taken out of your element. Completely! Do you get in every one’s face and defend yourself? Do you join forces with the male crew and just not pay attention to the women? Or you stare accusingly at your man, who by the way, is still not going to see it. He is going to think you are paranoid and switch off to wondering what you are having for dinner. Which is so irritating and you cannot hit him with something in front of the family. The best you can do is trip him with your foot, just to get a little satisfaction out of the whole trip.

So what do you do?

Turn the other cheek

If it is the mother, turn the other cheek by the way; especially if it is the first encounter. Just take that slap and stay calm. If it is the matriarch, this is usually some aunt who leads the whole camp and might be a favorite of his. Still, turn the other cheek.  This is not the time to show you can stand up for yourself. The sisters and miscellaneous; you hold off and watch and learn but never show any weakness because there is only so much you can take.

If you are sure that is the man you want, wait until you are married and deeply in his pants, finances and his home; then you show them. Never let anyone disrespect you in your house. Let it happen once and you are screwed.  Be a good hostess but they cannot come and tell you what to serve them, how your children are not right and where they would like to sleep-usually at your own expense. They can do it in their homes but not in yours. That is turning the other cheek.

Silence has always worn the best arguments

When you argue with a fool, did you know the fool always wins? Interpret that how you want but fools make arguments out of anything. At times it is just better to keep quiet and listen. Or not listen. It makes people really angry when they cannot get a reaction out of you.

Learn who is important to your man and stay out of their way

It does not have to be the mother every time. Just know who they are and if they have a problem with you, stay out of their way. If they get in your way, let them pass. If they want to have a staring competition or silence competition with you, let them win. They just have their own lane, usually your man’s path that you do not want to cross. Not in your home though. They can keep that at their place or leave it at the hotel and most definitely not in your wedding.

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