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3 ways to deal with needy partners

03 February 2015, 15:18 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - The art of manipulation is just that; an art. Not every individual can pull it off, because it needs finesse, time, patience and discretion on your part rather than on the person that you are trying to pull wool over their eyes.

The difference between men and women is that, women most times have to fight and coerce their partner for what they want in a relationship as compared to the men that expect it. We fight for their appreciation, they expect it. You fight for his love and devotion while on the other hand he expects it from you. You fight for the attention that you think that he deserves while he gives it when he feels like it but when he barks he expects you to come to heel and it is something that will never change.

Just how the roles were expected to be played: men get theirs handed on the platter, women have to work to get it. The same way, he expects to be the head while you are the tail when the roles are reversed he looks for another way to get it.

Being independent does not mean being emasculating, being dependent is not being needy

The part where women get it wrong about dependence and independence is when they blur the lines with neediness. Men wanting you to need them as the provider does not necessarily mean that you drop everything and be his servant.  Needing him as your man means that he is there to take care of what you cannot but he can and you still being able to do the rest for yourself. The trick here is for you to be able to ask for help rather than find ways to tell him how he does not do enough for you to make it easier for you.

Let him see that you can thrive without him but when the time comes for him to step in, you are more than willing to let him take the reins for you.

Sex should not be a tool to manipulation

A man can smell it a mile away. You can do it, he will let you, but he will despise you for it especially when you use it more as a tool for punishment or a boon for getting what you want.

On the other hand, using seduction as a play to lead to manipulation is different. Because what you are doing instead is being a tease for him by going out of what might not be your comfort zone. It can also be part of your foreplay as it can be playful since he already knows you are doing it to get something out of him.

Giving orders

You receiving orders from him has never worked on you so why do women think that men receiving them will work better?

It is much better to request and at a time when he is not zoned out on the television or having a conversation with someone else. The thing is to ask and make it look like something he would like to do for you that he came up with as an idea on his own. Does not matter if you are the one that starts the conversation.

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