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3 ways to deal with her sexual past

19 February 2015, 14:25 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - When you meet your partner or the person that you hope will be your partner you have positive and beautiful thoughts about them. At least I hope you do because I am not a man and I hope that you are not so narcissistic that you look for a partner that is lacking or you have ugly thoughts about. But when it comes to the person that you want to be the mother of your children, you actually do hope that she is lacking when it comes to the number of lovers that she has had. Which is quite contradictory on your part because you want her since she is beautiful, intelligent and wholesome. In other words, chances are she has dated other people and obviously might not be too virginal for your tastes.


Nairobian/ Kenyan men have a certain complaint about Nairobian women. We seem to be too promiscuous and too around town for your taste. Call it a case of calling the kettle black because we are not being promiscuous on our own but with your help. It is like you want to eat your cake and still have it too, unless you want to resort to robbing the cradle but then she will not be sophisticated enough for your tastes.

So when you are dating this woman, what is really going on through your head? Obviously you have doubts and if both of you have gone all the nine yards you are always going to have needling doubts at the back of your mind about those who have come before you. What do you do?

Do not ask, don’t tell....

The rule in most relationships should be; don’t ask, don’t tell because the truth is after some people hear the truth they either a) become angry b) wonder why they asked or c) wish they had not asked. Most people do not want to hear the truth and when it comes to sex all of us do not want to know especially if that is the partner that you actually want to end up with. 

Do not ask about the ex. Do not ask for a comparison because this one you are just asking to be lied to. You cannot expect your partner to tell you that you are worse or completely lacking in something.

Just like Eve was a sinner Adam was too....

Unless you are a virgin, waited until you were married and then realized that she had duped you, you cannot complain. You hate it when she puts you on the 90-day rule, you do not want her to ‘do it’ on the first date because you want her to be different. Yet you are the one that is constantly trying to move the relationship to the next level. So if she agrees, it is your fault when she fails that particular test. It is also your fault that you have those thoughts like, ‘does she do this with everybody else?’ If you ask, it is your fault when she lies because she will tell you ‘no’ and that ‘you are special’.

Virgins still exist but how are you going to find them....

Unless you have that Alcoblow type of contraption that can be switched for looking for a virgin that is a weird type of conversation that you are setting yourself up for. I am also not too sure about the success rate of such a search.

In other words, if you are the type of Kenyan man that wants to deal with Nairobi women; intelligent, beautiful, sophisticated, worldly and secure then you had better be man enough and not start asking some questions that you cannot handle the answers to.



- MyNews24

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