3 ways to deal with a bad break-up
12 April 2016, 18:24
Nairobi - The best thing you can ever do for yourself is leaving a bad
situation the moment you realize it stopped working for you a long time ago.
Not many people in relationships are able to do that. For a lot of reasons;
dependency over a certain time period, accepting the situation as it just being
the way it, ‘better half a loaf than none’-normally works from most couples you
meet or whatever else you can think of.
Also a lot of people do not leave bad relationships because
it has been ingrained in a lot of minds that you need to be selfless when you
choose to be with someone. That is true but what type of selflessness are we
talking about? Not having a ‘me’ attitude, giving as much as or more than what
you take in a relationship, being open to working it out with someone that
wants you and accepts you.
That is the selflessness that we talk about not being in an
abusive relationship and staying because you do not want to seem selfish.
Staying in a bad relationship because you are doing it for the kids, I bet you
it will be a lot worse when you are no longer in the right mind to take care of
your kids or you are no longer there for them. That is when you make the wrong
decisions-learn to tell the difference between staying in something that makes
you better as compared to something that is ruining your life.
It is fine to be mad,
angry and regret how things ended
There is no need to be strong and put up a front for people.
That is what do and you end up bottling a lot of things until they one day
explode and it is normally too late. So if you want to be mad, be mad. If you
want to slap someone, then slap them-just get it out of your system because emotions
sort of work like rust. The sooner you get rid of it, the better. The more you
ignore it, the more the damage that needs to be rectified.
You will not be able
to move on to something better if you keep holding onto it
It does not matter what someone did to you, okay maybe it
does, but thing is, how does it help you if you keep going back to it? It
doesn’t; just makes you more bitter and resentful and if you have kids you
start talking badly about someone who is important to them. You end up looking bad
in their eyes. The best motto while dealing with negativity is, ‘It could
always be worse.’ There is someone always dealing with worse. Accept your
baggage, and move on. Heal faster. Learn a lesson. Sticking around to
A lot of couples take this one too lightly and it is the
reason a lot are still in bad relationships. You get with someone and you lose
yourself in them. Enjoying each other’s company is one thing but all couples
end up in this place where when you see one of them, you are sure the other one
is somewhere in the vicinity. Having had such, it will be a lot harder for you
to let someone go.
It will be easier for you to bounce back if you are able to
do things on your own without having to keep going back to the place you are
trying to leave. If you have kids, remain cordial. If someone was formerly a
business partner or boss, keep the relationship neutral and professional.
It is not the time to tell someone they owe you because they
did that to you; so they need to make it up. You are maintaining the
dependence. You cannot move on as long as that is there.
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