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3 types of relationship exploitation

01 December 2015, 14:00 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Are you being exploited in your relationship? Do you know?

By their family members

By your partner’s family members; it is done so well that you feel loved, wanted and somebody that is important to them. If they could buy you a birthday cake every time they see you they would just to further convince how welcome you are to the family.

His or her family members love you so much they feel more like yours than yours are to you. But there is a problem; that love is not borne from the fact that they like you with their son or daughter or how they see you treat him or her. It is because of what you can or are doing for them; money, harambee for a relative, connection in a couple of places to fix some extended agent on the tree you name it and they like you because of what you can do. Nothing wrong with helping family is there?

Plot twist; if tomorrow you lose all that, you know they will be ganging for your demotion from the family for someone better. You have seen it in our societal marriages: the guy loses his job, he is now useless- they tell the daughter she can do so much better. The wife cannot get pregnant, they are the ones that help look and hide the other wife.

You are the only one not getting anything out of it

Someone out there is just thinking how I mean money and the material things but we can skip that. I am talking things like support, you are there for them but they are rarely if ever there for you. They will always come up with an excuse and it has reached that point where you ‘understand’ them. If you need help with anything they are never there to raise their hand, you have to look for them first and help them raise it. Just think, in the amount of time that you have been in a relationship with your partner, what have they done for you to show how they appreciate what you have done for them?

Husbands and wives included because there is always that partner who is doing everything and always picking up the pieces and the other ones mess.

Then there are the other things

The material or what your partner chose you for doing for them. The worst part is when they keep mentioning it as a threat over your head. If you cannot do this, I will leave you. If you do not give me this, I will go to so and so because they promise to. Your relationship becomes one of pressure because if you cannot deliver, they are out of your life with the snap of a finger.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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