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3 types of men women should RUN from

07 January 2016, 18:06 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There was this day, a particular evening I was walking on the side of the road, as a pedestrian and not waiting for a matatu. I heard loud honking from behind me and since I was not interested in boarding a matatu, I shook my head without looking back (It is a sort of unwritten law, when they are approaching and you want to board you stand and if you don’t want just shake your head). As it was passing me though and unexpectedly because I was walking on the far end, some man, one of those conductors who hang from the door just spanked my ass; very painfully if I might add.

I was spitting mad for a couple of minutes and I knew I could not do anything about it because they just zoomed past me. You don’t expect me to chase after them now do you? I was so angry but I just kept walking and what do you know, they had ended up at the next stage which I could walk to and confront them but did I? No I did not because that would have been giving them too much audience and they are matatu conductors what sort of intelligent conversation would I have had with them about disrespect. To them I was just one of many. But as I was passing some of the men in the matatu had seen and were confronting them about it. I did not even have to lift a finger. I was still mad but I still was not going to have a confrontation with those hooligans and in public nonetheless. I let the men have that battle for me. I choose style and class any day even when those idiots refuse with my ten shillings just to get a rise out of me. I let them have it.

Let me tell you something ladies, at times you wonder how you ended up dating and being in a relationship with a certain type that was never ‘your type’. It is simple, men watch and see how you act and that gives them courage or discourages them from approaching you.

You attract the type you choose to interact with. It is not being a snob it is being realistic. Be a lady and you will get gentlemen

If I had stood there with those hooligans, trust me there would have been those who would now have thought I am there type and approached me. They would have thought, she can stand and have a conversation with my fellow comrades, I can do this and I can do her as well. If I even sat in that matatu after that, I would have been approached by some other low life thinking, she can have it out with makangas, she is on my level. That is how a very well dressed low life gets a pass in your phone book. That simple, the day you met, you were arguing with makangas, why should he ever respect you?

When you get a phone call from a random number

I don’t have respect for people who hand my number out to people and never tell me or they tell the other person not to say who gave it to them. You get a call or a text as a woman; you don’t like the ensuing interaction. What do you do? This happened a couple of days ago, actually on the first of January. He refuses to tell me who gave him my number but he wants us to talk and get to know each other. I don’t trust random people, I watch Criminal Minds.  I insist and so I ask, for what and to what purpose, he says as friends but then he ruins it by saying, ‘Just come and visit me at my place and then we see.’ So you invite random people back to your place and you are just trying to be friends. First, I don’t respect men who invite me to their place without knowing me, I might be trying to rob you. I can’t trust you and also you are trying to have sex with me that means you have no respect for your health or body.  I might be carrying something. If you do this with me, you do it with every other person.

Was I going to get mad because this person who was not looking very nice as the conversation went by tried to bring me to his level? No, at the end of the day, it was my choice whether to accept the offer or decline and if he insists, block that number.

It is very interesting when a woman is storytelling and she is complaining how a certain lowlife is trying to get in her pants and she does not want him. That is why you have the block button on your phone. You are complaining but you still texting when you are bored, accept the invitation when you are lonely and have sex because you are on the dry spell or have no one else. That is how the scumbag men stay winning, not because they used juju but because you figured, just this one time and no one has to know. Everyone will know because lowlifes don’t know how to keep their mouths shut and when you walk the street don’t be complimented when you hear whistles and catcalls, you have just been given a reputation. What respectable man will want to deal with a woman he is not sure of and you know it was just that one time. That one time has ruined your chance with a good man. I would rather be the snobby bitch any day.

Don’t get into bar fights

It is good to know that when you hit a man he might not hit back. It is good to know you did not throw the first punch. Even if a man is trying to start something with you walk away. I was once at Brew Bistro on a personal night out, I did not have company, I just took myself out alone. I had my own section. I go to dance and on coming back I see a man and women sitting there. I just want to rest my legs so I don’t even tell them it was my seat but just let them have it. This man though, one of our loving Kenyan brothers, gives me a dirty stare and starts telling me how I have taken a seat belonging to his other lady friend. He had two with him. She was on the dance floor and the other lady tells him to relax because there are seats around us and besides the lady was still dancing. I don’t like arguments, confrontations and public embarrassment so you can imagine I am just sitting there looking like a deer caught in the headlights. I am just shocked because this man looked like he wanted me to have it out with him and the calmer I was the angrier he became. He even calls the bouncer on me and I was like you know what, this is not the only party house in Nairobi. So ladies, at times it is not even you but the man that wants a brawl. You simply have the choice of walking away rather than having it out even if you have a man with you or you have a group with you. Don’t be that woman.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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