3 types of friends to leave out of your relationship
26 October 2015, 18:24
Nairobi - Someone was telling me about one of her friends who was going through a bad patch with her man in her
relationship. People use the term friend too loosely because she looked very
gleeful while talking about her friend’s problems. You do not have to look at
the single friend to get bad advice from just look at the one you hold really
close and is also in a relationship. Misery loves company. If I am sad then
let’s be sad together in these bad relationships we are in together.
No one can tell you perfect advice on making it work,
keeping it together or knowing the right from wrong but look at the company
that you choose to share it with.
Choosing to commiserate with someone who is in a bad
situation like you, does not improve things
It makes you feel better at that moment. You are also happy
that at least you are not in it alone but you actually are. A friend who tells
you, ‘it is okay, that is what people do or that is how we survive!’ May be
cheering at the back of their minds because it seems yours is not going so well
either. It makes them feel better about their bad situation. That is not
someone you should be seeking advice from or commiserating with. You look for
someone who found a way to make it better or is trying to.
The friend who will point out issues that make you more
insecure in your relationship
Destroyers do not come dressed as devils they come dressed
as angels and with sugar-coated voices. You are thinking they mean well, but no
they actually don’t and they are blatant about it because they know you will
not catch on. Your husband is encouraging you but this one is the one telling
you how fat you look and should work on it regardless of your post-partum
depression. She will make you feel insecure about something she cannot have.
You might not be at that level but she will find a way to
bring you there
Remember; misery loves company. If she is in a bad place and
you are not, just wait because she is about to bring you to her level. She will
create problems where there were none before. She will plant seeds of doubt
about your own relationship and marriage to create a storm for you to go back
to. Then she will hug you and tell you how you will both get through this.
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