3 things to NEVER hide in relationships
08 June 2016, 12:54
Nairobi - There are things one must never hide in a new relationship.
Especially if they are planning to marry you
You might try to hide the following but when they eventually
come out in the open for your partner to find out, it does more damage. You
need to allow someone to make their own decisions as to whether they can handle
whatever issues or problems you might have.
If they cannot handle you now, they will not be there for
you when you might actually need the help and the worst part is, you will blame
them. But are they really the ones to blame when you were the one doing some
shady thing like that.
Illness or Sickness
I have a friend, she has sickle cell anemia. Not a lot of
people, especially in Africa, know what that is. If you know someone who has
it, you will understand its gravity and impact on the people in that person’s
life in taking care of them, medical bills and constant upheaval. Worst part
is, not a lot, I am not sure if even any insurance companies cover it. They
It is one of those illnesses, when she gets into any
relationship, the guy has to know. It
has signs but like I said, not many people are educated on it. If you even
sneeze the wrong way in her direction and she gets stressed, she just relapses
and the medical bill is like 100k and you have not even spent a week there;
just medication and bed.
Other illnesses are not like sickle cell where eye color is
a tell, they are more hidden and some people take advantage of that and keep
silent. You need to let someone know so
that when they commit to you, they do so freely and with an open mind. If they
find out later after let us say marriage, you will be in hot soup.
Your spending habits
Most couples do not know their partner’s spending habits
because as long as we are dating, we are all a bunch of pretenders. The women
pretend they are responsible, reliable and conscious and the men pretend how
lavishing they are, sort of reliable and as long as she asks he will do. Then
they get married and tables turn because the miser is a poor saver and impulse
buyer and the other one has no idea of their role in the family and money
issues. Be open. If you are poor with money, maybe your partner will help and
make your expectations known.
Keeping some hidden gets you in trouble; not your ex, no one
has time for that. But if they insist, you just browse and drop the topic.
Don’t even talk about your sexual escapades. People lie it does not matter but
it does, even if it was one and they want details. Close the topic and ask them
if they are in a relationship with your past or with you now.
Those friendships where they do not build you but you end up
doing shady things will ruin your marriage if you cannot let go of them. It
eventually does creep onto your personal life.
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