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3 things to consider before getting married

05 May 2016, 23:31 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Is he the right person for you. Here are three ways to gauge.

They should never cheat on you

I read this post yesterday, ‘all men cheat. You should understand it and accept it as long as your man takes care of everything else, don’t dwell on it.’ Obviously, I had a face after that because worse, it was a woman.

If you decide to get married to someone, don’t go into it with expectations of the worst that could happen because you will get it. Not everyone cheats and if your partner feels like they have not finished tasting everything they need to, they are not the one for you. I just know one thing, if you meet someone and they make you feel like you no longer like me enough to respect me when I am not there to police you, you better tell me. I will not hold onto you and fight you. It is hard forcing someone to love you-too many men in the world for me to take that shit. I also know people don’t accidentally do anything, it takes planning to choose a hotel, time and make sure you don’t smell like someone- no coming back after that. That is my opinion because if I find out on my own you will not like the results. So just come talk to me like a sane individual. I think I am rational and I will let you go have ‘fun’. The kids will not have to come into it.

You do not have to put up with poor living because of love

Potential is a very dangerous thing because it blinds you at times. It is okay to believe in someone but judge their actions; building a life with someone takes 50-50 effort. Let it not be you alone who is working very hard to make every end meet. You look after the kids, the bills, food and everything else on your own. Yeye ako tu because ana dreams. Dreams are nice but your kids cannot eat dreams and if it is yet to pay to take them to school, keep that 9-5 to sort that out. Don’t quit and now sit at home-all of you looking at each other. Someone should have passion but also realize that that is their part time, full time, it is you the person they chose to commit to. Work for your family, make sure they are okay, and then take care of your passions because if it is not feeding them, you are letting the other person shoulder everything a lone. That is not fair.

You want a partner and nothing else

The second point applies to this. You want someone who is there with you and for you as much as you are there with them and for them. A partner ill include you and they will understand where you are coming from even in an argument or disagreement. Don’t propagate silent treatment because you end up looking stupid. You want someone that consults with you and is not afraid to help you with your new born. It is so bad when you have a man who thinks it is unmanly to help you with the child. You will get home from work; the help has gone and left the baby with the neighbor-she silently resigned. You have to do everything on your own as well as watch the kid but your man is sitting on the couch. You have a problem.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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