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3 things a woman should NEVER allow a man to do

07 January 2016, 20:08 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is a man and then there is a man, the latter is usually a clown and they are the ones that cause a lot of women, anger, pain, confusion, heartache, heartbreak and anything else you can come up with like bitterness and resentment.

I have always said this and I will maintain; women play victim when from the beginning she knew what she was dealing with. It is either you chose to ignore the obvious signs, never bothered to ask the right questions at the right times, did not care because you thought you were going after what is yours or just something. In the fight to outfit yourself with a man and maybe beat another to the chase, you chose the clown because you thought you could deal with it or handle it. You can’t but these are just a couple of few ways you can help yourself if you ever find yourself in a position where you do are not sure if you are dealing with a clown.

Setting the rules in the relationship

This needs to a compromise, a give or take situation. Most of you are thinking we don’t need rules; we can just go with the pace. Waiting for a glass to break will not heal the cracks. If you move in and don’t want to be woken up to cook, then lay it down. If you go out and don’t want to deal with drunkenness and disorderliness, lay it down. Some of you are in relationships but have no idea your partner is watching you and the information they have gathered is what will change their mind about settling with you. Setting down rules as partners is not even about you but you learning what the other partner is not willing to deal or live with from a spouse.

Don’t let him set the pace of your relationship

I am not saying be a dictator but a lot of women that are dating do not know the difference between compromise and compensating. Compensating is when you allow him to dictate the pace .You don’t want to startle him or maybe even rush him. 2 months, 3 months or 6 months and you two are just dating; that is it, don’t ask what are we. Get to know the other person and if you are mature enough you will know when it is the right time to ask that question. You go wrong when it is past a year and you are hanging on to a man who is not ready to give you anything. That is a clown. He only gives when he wants to but not ready to listen to when you would like it. It will happen with the wedding, when he is ready to have the baby and never when you are ready but him. See how that has become one-sided?

Make your worries seem like little things

If you have a problem, point it out and stand your ground. The man will have the option of hearing you out and adjusting in a compromise or walking out because he never thought you were anything to him anyway. At least now you know. Some women let the men brush away their worries, letting him be comfortable. But don’t worry because you think you are a cat with nine lives, why not let him waste the one you are living now away. You have others we all don’t know about. Letting a man live on your time and prime years is the worst mistake you will ever want to commit if you wanted more to begin with.

If you want a ring, say. If you want more from him, say it. Just say what you would like or expect from him, if he is not ready at least he gave you the option of walking away. If he does not want a relationship but a fling, at least he gave you that choice. But then again, you might just be a match and he is thinking the same as you are in the commitment stakes.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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