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3 signs of failed relationships

15 September 2015, 13:32 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - How do failed relationships look like. Why are they so?

You let other things get in the way of the two of you

You let other things: career, work, children, pressure, and family among other things get in the way of what the two of you had. Life gets in the way and most of the time you barely notice that things are going sour because by the time you get home you just want to sleep and you repeat the same routine every day. You live in the same house but you and your partner are living separate lives.

You are still holding on to resentment and bitterness.

I have noticed that with people who are in bad, broken marriages; one partner did something to the other a long time ago that the other partner could never recover from. Maybe they said they did not have another family, or they cheated with one partner for a long time and the other partner was the one that had to pick up the pieces. They thought their partner would change but they never have. So you are living with someone that you are having an internally repressed feud and grudge that you cannot get over. It becomes passive aggressive within the marriage until things just fall apart. You are fifty and now is when you want to kick someone out.

You are not happy at the way things turned out

In the beginning we all like to romanticize things and if not we hope for the best and screen out the factor that mistakes, circumstances and situations can change things. Ten years down the line and now you are starting to be angry because you are not happy, you want to blame someone and your life is hopelessly not what you want. I would advise you to take what you have now and make the best out of it. After 10+ years of marriage, try to make it work if your partner is willing to try it with you and not be bitter about past mistakes. You only become more miserable when you wake up and sleep coveting a non-existent life. Make what you have now work because starting at 50 is hard when your age-mates are settled into their lives.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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