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3 sexual requirements for men

28 January 2016, 17:50 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Before I get into that, I was listening to a couple of Kenyan men having a conversation. You Kenyan ladies are worried about other women coming after you husband. The people you should be worried about are your men themselves. To put it quite precisely, the word of the day was, ‘Long ago it used to be about stealing another woman’s man, these days it is not stealing if I am already married. I can have as many wives as I want. So she really is not stealing because I am allowed to be with her as well.’

So, when you are thinking your husband is yours, what you need to know is that when he is out there, he is everybody else’s-literally!

That got me thinking about the reasons a man would want to marry more than one wife and to be honest, your sex lives is one of them. How boring it is, how exciting, how experimental you are or how spontaneous among other things.

Do you have boundaries when it comes to your partner, your spouse, your boyfriend, or your man? What are the things you have told him he cannot do with you? Now it seems he will just come and tell you, ‘I have another girlfriend, she agreed to do this with me.’ What will you do about it? Nothing!

What do you do if you cannot go beyond a certain point or you do not want certain things to go to certain places?

Open communication channels while dating and in relationships before marriage are important

First of all, you need to match yourself who thinks like you do when it comes to sex. That is the only way the both of you are going to be satisfied and not disappointed. A lot of women shy away from talking about sex even with their very own partners. So when he wants to ask something or talk about something you act like it escaped you hearing. You are allowing for a gap to come in that another woman can easily fill for you.

You can be experimental, but if you are not comfortable with something speak up

If you are not comfortable going beyond a certain point say so. Just don’t clam up when something is suggested. How do you know you will not like it if you do not even want to try it? Try it and when it gets too much, you let it be known. It is also a give and take, if you like something then say so. If you keep quiet how will anyone ever know? People are not mind readers.

When establishing a boundary, offer to do something else as an alternative

That is the only way it can work. You cannot come here, but you can go over there; that sort of thing. I do not want to do this but I am willing to try this. Something equally exciting not something you already do.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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