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3 serious relationship dilemas

10 September 2015, 19:05 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Three things kill most relationships, or lead them down that path. Which are they?

Setting up time to get together

A lot of people never really think if they are ready for a relationship and how time consuming it can be. It gets hard trying to juggle between the two of you because when one of you is free the other is not and when you are available they are not. It is rare to find two people that have matching schedules and it is just one of the things that people overlook when they make it official. Will you still be able to make it to a date with them and will it be regular. You are having a long distance relationship yet you are in the same zip code.

You have to set it out early on the relationship and let your partner know your timetable. Let them know what to expect so that they do not have anything to complain about. It will prepare them for it but do not disappoint a partner by setting up something with them only to call and say you cannot make it.

Being on the same level with your partner in terms of how you feel for each other

That rarely happens. Most of the time what happens is that one person is usually a step ahead of the other one. They feel more, want more and expect more. The other one is just cool and ‘going with the flow’. This can hurt the other partner because they think that they are not really interested, when the opposite is true just that they take time while they are at it.

You do not have to rush into anything but what you can do is be willing to spend more time to get to know this person. If the both of you enjoy each other’s company and it is obvious that you are relaxed around each other; then take your time. You will want to rush it but slow down they will come around. After a while when you are ready to take the next step then let them know. The next step is not on the second date.

Money and different values

You cannot not talk about money.  It is s hard when you are trying to date someone who you could actually have something with but you give up because their expectations are way up there and you are trying to be down here. You do not want to spend a lot of money on dates with someone you may end up not liking or being compatible with.

It is just far easier to be upfront from the beginning. If they do not like it then move on and find someone who will want to see you and not be seen for the sake of it. Being flashy and extravagant will give them an impression that they will hold you to throughout the entire relationship.

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