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3 relationships to avoid

29 September 2015, 17:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am not sure if it goes both ways because I recently read the following quote, ‘good women get their time wasted while good men never get the time of day!’ Now why can’t we all just come together and get along and let those who are playing games get together and also have a good time? Because it is life and life likes to fuck us in the a**. Can I say that?

A situationship is a kind of association whereby one party gets their time wasted because they paid attention to the other person first as compared to their own gut and instinct.

A situationship is that point you lie to yourself that if you wait long enough you may just end up convincing this person to change their mind. Time changes everything.

A situationship is whereby you tag along to someone else’s idea of what a relationship is

People stuck in situationships are in two categories; a. you went in clear-headed but now you like this person but they are not in the same boat as you are; they like the way things were. B.  You knew you wanted this person so you were hoping you would change their mind and you still have not been able to.

So why can’t you just get out because it is like drugs and we all like a certain high. For a large majority it is not the store bought kind but this kind.

They tell you, ‘I want you…but’, what is this but they are not sharing?

But, I want to keep my options open. It is not that you are not a good person but I damn sure hope someone better than you comes along.  That is why they are keeping their options open. Not because they are waiting for you to improve but they just want someone else to come along so that they can move on with them.

Why not say that?  If that other person never shows up, then you will do as well.

Why do you like spending a lot of time with me then if you are not sure about me then?

‘I don’t want anything serious, but we can have sex though!’ Of course they will spend a lot of time with you especially if they know you two are going to end up in bed; less stress going out to look for it, looking for a new partner or suffering the dry spell.

The problem with sex is whether we admit it or not most of us use it as a bargaining chip. To change someone’s mind, to get from them something we want or to ‘sweeten’ the deal and that is where we err. Take it out of the equation and it will become clearer. But you will not do that, will you?

Why do we have to label everything? Isn't the bond we have much better?

That is the line that seals the deal at the end of the day because you convince yourself that you actually have something special with this person.

You do not talk to anyone else because you hope that they are doing the same for you. You do not go out hoping that they will call to say they are outside your door. They cook you dinner in and for you that works well enough because some boyfriend’s don’t even know how to cook just take their women out when this is more special and intimate.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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