3 reasons you should never trap a man
01 September 2015, 17:25
Nairobi - Maybe not now, maybe not in three months or a couple of
years but it will happen and you will have to start figuring out how to get
yourself out of the long-term effects.
Get pregnant if you want to. Have a baby if you want to.
Have sex if that is what you actually want to do. Do whatever you want to do if
that is what you actually want to do but do not do it because you are hoping
that the guy will be more committed to you afterwards.
If he does not want you as his woman, sex will not change his mind
By the way, there is always going to be that guy who will
not even be interested in having sex with you. Some guys just have standards
and sorry to say, you might not be it. The statement should not hurt your
feelings or make you feel bad about yourself, it is just simple truth. Accept
it and move on-that is how you make life really simple for yourself. Not by
starting to think what hair he likes, or what skin color he prefers and what
size he is into. Those are the long term effects I am talking about. Your
vagina will work very well for someone else, so don’t be too worried. Just
accept his decision and move on.
Now there is the other kind that does not know how to pass a
gift horse. These ones make up for the majority. He is the one that will invite
you to his house or come over to your house to ‘chill’ and because you are
friends you think, ‘why not?’ He is single and is really a nice person so you
hope that that time you spend together changes his mind. It does not. Men, who
want a certain women, invest. Money, time and effort. He goes out of his way to
impress her. Accept to have sex with him if that is also what you want but do
not expect to change his mind with it. Your tricks will not change the image he
has in his mind of the woman he actually wants. You will revert back to your
Do not get pregnant to gain commitment
Nerea; I acknowledge
the fact that that song was meant to create awareness. But what it also did is
play to the fantasy of some women where a couple of men are concerned. Get
pregnant and he will come to his senses and be ready to build a family.
You are in a relationship or maybe you are in a situationship so you want to upgrade it
to something more. In true female fashion though, you by pass all the direct
methods; asking and getting your response. You get pregnant because children
are a lifelong commitment. What you forget is that they are more so for the
mother than the father. You are the one with the belly and once you allow the ‘father to be’ to ‘participate’; he can disappear with no ties.
Now here you are complaining because he is not acting as you
would have expected a proud father-to-be to act. He does not bother with your
medical expenses, is not bothered about your delivery and technically is not
bothered about anything to do with that child. Not all men are dead beats; you create them from your
decisions, choices and actions. Here is the long term effect; you now have a
baby that you have to figure out the rest of its life alone and with no help.
You start wishing you had made a different decision because this is when that
good guy comes along but he does not want to deal with your drama.
Your friend is wrong
At times a friend has good intentions but what worked for
her might not work for you. You know what demon you are dancing with so ask for
advice yes, but be honest with yourself to know when it is not the right one
for you. Doing something that you do not normally do for him will not make him love
you more. Because she tells you to do something and it worked for her does not
mean it will work for you. Be careful which advice you take because you will
deal with the aftermath alone. You can cry on her shoulder but that is it!
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