3 reasons you should love your in-laws
30 May 2015, 18:21
Nairobi - I am saying this knowing that there are those ones that you just do not know what to do with. The ones that make you look at your spouse twice wondering if they were really worth it while you deal with all that drama. The ones who are so nosy and in your business 24/7. The ones that make you wonder if they were created to make your life miserable.
For your children
At times you appreciate when you do not have to deal with them because your spouse has none to speak of. But there is only so much friends can do in your life. At times you take a step back and actually think what would happen to your children if you are no longer there.
Things happen, for example, accidents. One minute you are there and the next you are not. Worst case scenario is when the both of you are gone and your children are quite young.
In our culture the woman, after being married off, is normally taken as being in her husband’s care. So if you have sister’s yes, they can be the trustee (if you were clever enough to sort this out) or take care of the children. But most of the time it is very rare for them to actually comfortably take in say, two –four even one child is a problem to their house. Especially if the parents left them with no cover to speak off!
Then the brother’s – they can help but they are busy with their brood so dealing with your will also be an uphill task.
That is where in-laws come in. It is better if everyone liked you because they will all comfortably sit down and say who is dealing with what. The parents of your spouse can help raise your child as long as all the siblings to both sides send money for their care.
On the other hand, if you were a squabble and quarrelsome person, you have just left your kids an eternity of problems. Preach about the innocent not having to pay for it but most times they will remember your image when dealing with your child and they will be less sympathetic. If you mistreated anyone in your house, your child might end up having the same fate.
When you need someone to take care of your household
Remember that help who was brutalizing the child, now I think more people are less receptive of helps but more receptive of relatives. On your side of the family you cannot think of anyone. You need to go to work or you just need to be somewhere that you cannot take your child. If you are good to your in-law, even if they are staying there to go through school, they will be more receptive to helping you with your household as compared to when you are a mean and abusive person.
It does not matter of they are at your mercy, at the end of the day, you will leave your house and you want to be sure that you can trust the person you leave your children and house to.
They help you out of binds
Not all but there are some of those good ones. It can be in the job search. It can be in pulling strings somewhere -’nchi ya kitu kidogo’, remember?
People are more apt to help you when they remember you in your kindness. Maybe that in-law knocked at your gate at 12 in the night, they ruined your sleep and you had to set them up. Maybe they come and borrow things that they do not return. Or maybe they are the ones that will speak ill even when you do your best!
The best is just to keep it sealed because you do not know when you might need them.
In-laws can be tough people to deal with. You can give them your bets but they will not behave as they should. You may try to stay out of their way but they go out of their way to put themselves in your way. The thing to remember is, you may not need them now or even ever but for your spouse’s sake-learn to manage to live with them. Especially the parents, we can all do away with siblings but treat their parents as you would like them to treat yours because you will not always be here!
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