3 reasons women stay in bad relationships
23 October 2015, 16:10
Nairobi - Recently I was talking to someone and I asked them if they
think their man would cheat. I was not being nosey, people just like telling me
their business and she was complaining about him. So I listened and she said,
‘Yes, of course!’ Like it was Tuesday, and you cannot say Tuesday is Friday! It
was just Tuesday. The first thing that clicked in my head was, ‘Well, this must
be why I am single because I would probably whoop some ass if someone tested me
Did I bother giving her therapy and telling her to leave?
No! I am a great reader of people so I knew this was just another episode and
opportunity for her to rant and go have sex with him later and be ‘happy’ she
has a man and not single like some of us.
Why do we stay you ask?
Because you already know what to expect and you are okay
People take that proverb, ‘better the devil you know than
the angel you don’t’, too seriously and very literally. She most probably knew
her man cheats on her but she would rather deal with that rather than with the
unknown. People are always okay with dealing with what they are currently
dealing with rather than let go and have a case of, ‘oh, he is so worse than my
ex, I should have never left. ‘ That is why I also did not give her advice
because I do not like people coming at me sideways and telling me their life is
worse because of me even though I was right! I like I told you so better.
The false sense of security
If it ever comes to a push a shove, this woman’s line to me
would be, ‘at least I am in a relationship!’, ‘at least I have a man!’ No one
likes handling the unknown so they stay because at least they have something
that everybody else is struggling to get. They weigh the pros and cons and even
if the cons outweigh the pros they will focus on the one pro and say at least I
get that at the end of the day. I can work with that.
There is always something better but people always hope the
better comes out eventually from the current
A lot of people stay because they are hoping against all
hope that they can prove everyone else who was against it wrong. They want to
go back and say, ‘I knew he was not so bad’; ‘I knew she was a really good
woman.’ It is their choice at the end of the day because you can never force
someone to want better. This is why I keep my advice to myself most times
because Noah’s Ark only had to carry the willing. It is that simple.
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