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3 reasons women stay in bad relationships

23 October 2015, 16:10 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Recently I was talking to someone and I asked them if they think their man would cheat. I was not being nosey, people just like telling me their business and she was complaining about him. So I listened and she said, ‘Yes, of course!’ Like it was Tuesday, and you cannot say Tuesday is Friday! It was just Tuesday. The first thing that clicked in my head was, ‘Well, this must be why I am single because I would probably whoop some ass if someone tested me like that!’

Did I bother giving her therapy and telling her to leave? No! I am a great reader of people so I knew this was just another episode and opportunity for her to rant and go have sex with him later and be ‘happy’ she has a man and not single like some of us.

Why do we stay you ask?

Because you already know what to expect and you are okay with that.

People take that proverb, ‘better the devil you know than the angel you don’t’, too seriously and very literally. She most probably knew her man cheats on her but she would rather deal with that rather than with the unknown. People are always okay with dealing with what they are currently dealing with rather than let go and have a case of, ‘oh, he is so worse than my ex, I should have never left. ‘ That is why I also did not give her advice because I do not like people coming at me sideways and telling me their life is worse because of me even though I was right! I like I told you so better.

The false sense of security

If it ever comes to a push a shove, this woman’s line to me would be, ‘at least I am in a relationship!’, ‘at least I have a man!’ No one likes handling the unknown so they stay because at least they have something that everybody else is struggling to get. They weigh the pros and cons and even if the cons outweigh the pros they will focus on the one pro and say at least I get that at the end of the day. I can work with that.

There is always something better but people always hope the better comes out eventually from the current

A lot of people stay because they are hoping against all hope that they can prove everyone else who was against it wrong. They want to go back and say, ‘I knew he was not so bad’; ‘I knew she was a really good woman.’ It is their choice at the end of the day because you can never force someone to want better. This is why I keep my advice to myself most times because Noah’s Ark only had to carry the willing. It is that simple.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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