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3 reasons women fail in relationships

05 April 2016, 19:18 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - First, a lot of you are fighting for the girlfriend title, you might not even be fighting for it but already have it. These days, that does not matter; if you had to force someone for it, then just be ready for a bombshell really soon.

I surely do not have the secret to what makes one man propose and what makes the other one not be interested. Men are different. But before you even get to the ring part how do you know here this is heading? This is usually that dating phase which sinks a lot of women into confusion. You are thinking you are there but when he chooses not to call for a week, you realize you actually aren’t. You think that it is going so well until you hear he took someone else for a date but you really like him so you still are not going to let this one go.

 Then when he calls after two weeks to ask if you can do something, you are definitely there and after a romp you decide to cut it out and ask where this is going. After sex is the only time women are confident enough to ask where this is going because for most, she has just shared a vital part of herself and you better have the right answer when she asks. That is how men end up in a relationship but to him he is still single no matter what.

If a man likes you, you will not have to ask or beg for attention

I have come to appreciate the fact that I really should pay more attention to my own advice and listen to it as well. I rarely follow my own advice and after the fact that is when I realize if I could have done this instead maybe the outcome would have been better. That is how I know this is the right one to give you as a woman. I have been in that phase of waiting for a man to notice me. I know what it feels like to be left hanging but I also know what it feels like when a person wants to actually be with you, listen to you and spend time with you. You will not have to beg and when you don’t, you will never have to be insecure in that relationship because they choose you. It is that simple. They can have anyone else but they want you so they say, ‘can we be in a relationship?’ ‘I like this.’’ This is my girlfriend.’ You will like the outcome too but when you had to force and push for it, you will always be in doubt with that person.

There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to take it slow, the problem is when he chooses to do it

If a man asks to take it slow in the beginning of the relationship and most of the time it is never asked but you just know the signs. It is through the dating process that he shows you. He is just taking time to know you and know what you are thinking. You spend time together and go do your own things afterwards until the next time. When that happens, a woman thinks he is cheating or he is seeing other people because why isn’t he asking for anything? When a person keeps making time for you and arranging their schedule for you, they are still just trying to get to know you. But that is when most women worry why it is not going to the next level. When you have never been courted properly, enjoy it at least you are not having your time wasted.

The only time you should be worried is after months or even a year of dating, you are getting comfortable and thinking this is your man, then he tells you, you should take it slow. When  you are ready for the next level like engagement because you two have spent two years together and he is asking for more time, be worried. You do not want to beg someone who already knows that you are not his wife. You move on because that is how women end up wasting quality years on the wrong man and being the baby mother because they walked out too late.

Pressure at the wrong time will come off as desperation

While dating, have your own life do not stop everything you are doing and now focus on this man. Before you know it, you are asking for too much from someone that is a stranger.  Date and have a life, that way you will not notice how lonely you are when they are not around. That removes dependency on the relationship. Don’t ask for a relationship when you two have not even got on the second base of dating. When you are desperate, someone knows you have no one else after you and they lose interest really quick because who wants what no one else wants? Harsh but true. It might not even be it but still that is what happens.



- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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