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3 reasons why men really marry?

25 February 2015, 15:33 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Growing up in the 90s, I obviously watched a bunch of movies, my favorite actors being it Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis, the Oceans eleven crew, those people; and when I watched them I got the gist of how romance was. It gets into your mind, such that you view relationships in a different light, so when I would watch romantic movies I would look at them like comics. If I sat down with a group of friends and watched one; they would get teary when some man was talking about how stars were in some woman’ s eyes or professed his love on knees in a restaurant. I on the other hand, do not like that kind of attention, I would probably kneel down beside him whispering for him to get up whilst pretending we were looking for something on the floor.


As you leave the cradle, you hear about Kenyan men not being romantic enough, yet there are weddings every weekend. So who are these women getting married to unless we are now in the business of importing men? Anyway, I figured there must be a reason that these men who are not romantic or openly professing love are getting into marriage. Obviously it is not for love so I asked a couple of friends to tell me why they chose to, will choose to or are in the process of settling down if not for love.

Being guilt stricken...

Believe it or not, Kenyan men can feel guilt among the small list of virtues they choose to follow. It is the case of that girlfriend who has been there for you through thick and thin. When you were nothing up until now when you are something. He knows she has invested herself in him so there is no way he is about to tell her she is not what he needs. So he chooses to just go with the flow because either way a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush that he is yet to encounter. 

For his comfort...

Men hate doing housework and once they are on their own and have that girlfriend that shows them that as long as she is around he does not have to do anything, how will he turn his nose up on that. Might be the laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the house and... cooking.

Common complaint these days is that a lot of us modern Kenyan ladies do not know how to handle our own households. We would rather pay someone to do it. I see no problem with that, especially if I am bringing in the bacon. So, when this Nairobian guy meets a woman that fits the above criteria, he will waste no time and chain himself to that ball because to him it does not get better than that. Romance has nothing compared to her household skills. He will even get a speechwriter to write his wedding vows for him.

To show he has now grown into a man...

Good job, check. Really nice bank balance, check. Nice house, check. Nice car, check. Everything he needs is on point, he is approaching thirty or mid-thirties pretty first, so what is missing on that list?  A family. For that he needs a good woman.

A lot of you ladies are thinking that the marrying guy is a dying breed; but that is not the case, they are there it is just that you have to fit his criteria for the woman he wants to be the mother of his children. Romance in a lot of cases for guys rushing to the alter does not play a part in the decision he makes, that is why there is the side chick.

For a lot of men, the crowning glory is usually marrying a good woman, love takes a backseat.


- MyNews24

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