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3 reasons to mind your own relationship business

12 November 2015, 13:47 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - It does not just have to be a friend but it may also be a family member, relative or even a colleague. Can you save them from a situation that is clearly not good for them; something that they choose to ignore, ‘because everybody else is just the same’ to them. Or someone whom they think they are saving by being with them but the person is just bringing them down as well.

At times you think that they do not know how badly this other person mistreats them but they actually do. She is not a child so she knows what abuse is, what being in a relationship should be about and what she should not tolerate. So why doesn't she just leave? If you bring it up either they hold a grudge or they just ignore you.

Do you want to save her at the expense of your relationship with her?

That is one of the questions you should actually ask yourself because it might happen that if she learns to let go of what she has now and does not settle well in the aftermath-you will take the blame. If she does not heal from the bad relationship and carries it with her to all the relationships, she will blame that failure on you. Your friend, sister, relative or workmate will blame you for everything wrong that happens afterwards and she might end up resenting you for it. Are you ready for that?

You can also only save someone who wants to be saved

Why doesn't she leave? She is not ready to, for starters; she just does not want to and so she plays the card, ‘it is none of your business’. History also plays a key role; at times the idea of starting over can be a bit intimidating and off putting. They would rather continue surviving in their current situation because to her, ‘all relationships have problems either way; at least she knows what she is getting.

Help someone who comes to you for help

They are ready so that is not the time to judge them and tell them how you have been right all these years. If they are ready to leave, assure them that you will be there for them. It is hard as it is to get out of something that has ended up being a hard lesson. It is even harder when you have to do it when you are alone. That plays a part for a lot of women who stay in bad relationships; they just have no one who is actually interested in helping them. They want to give an opinion but when it is time to play ball, they stand by the fence and judge.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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