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3 reasons she hates your bachelor friends

09 July 2015, 16:47 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women like bachelors because

  1.        He is not married
  2.        He is not married and
  3.        He is single

Because when you are courting them (we will assume he has not lied) you are sure that you are not with someone else’s man. But that is the end of it. Wait until the women gets into a relationship with her man (previously a bachelor) and see how his fellows are treated as heathens, sidelined and maligned.

The thing that men have never understood is the shift in affection and courtesy that was previously there disappearing completely. He wonders where it is all coming from. Did your friend (s) insult her when he was not in the vicinity or did he come onto her? What did he do?

Well, let me tell you what he did. Your bachelor is a constant reminder of what you were or still are when you are with them. At one point or the other, you introduced your lady to your friend (s) and while she was acting very prim and proper, she was just watching what you guys.

She listened to how you talk about other women. Whether you hold them with great esteem or with a small grain of salt. Do you respect them or do you hold them with the same regard as your rag on the floor. What do you think of women? Is it stupid when they demand to have a career or you would like them to keep in their place-preferably in the kitchen or washing the toilet. Do you respect women who make their money or do you want one who will not bother you with demands on your wallet. Your views, her man’s views. She listened to the way he responded while burping over his beer and you were all too into your cups to even notice her frowns.

She listened to you guys talk about marriage. At that time she was hoping to pass your exam so that she could be the so called wife. She listened to some of you saying how you will marry five women if possible. Or the ones who want a marriage just for the children and social gatherings then put it on a shelf until it suits them (women do not like this one). Then there are some of you who will try marriage for the first few years, if we push it that far, if it does not work you are hoping to get a side chick.

At that point she was joining in with her laughter trying to be charming but at the back of her mind she was just thinking, ’wait until I get that commitment, I need to get rid of some of these men. Otherwise they will influence my man!’

At one point or the other, you went on some road trip; some of you single. Some of you coupled up. Most of you in nothing serious-you just invited some woman you have your shenanigans with twice a week. So she watched how you behaved and you did behave badly because you thought she just might be a passing fancy. She was not and she learnt a lot on those trips.

When women meet their man’s friends, she is learning who he is. That adage about birds of a feather and flocks of sheep. Uuuuh, what am I saying? Maybe her man will change for her because he now sees the maturity in being married and starting a family. He even might love and care for her but the rest of you do not. You will still be you and do what you want because you do not have a WIFE to destabilize you.

So when he tells her about some trip you are all going to, it never sits well. She starts flashing back to what she saw on those few times she came along as a girlfriend/fancy and she does not like it. When she hears about you meeting up to talk, she knows that those are the same men that will give you counsel on your issues. She will not like it.

You are the ones that will tell him to buy that Benz when they are still behind on some loan or mortgage. You are the ones that might encourage him to flirt with some waitress just to see if he still got it. It never ends with flirting.

You just might be the ones that have ideas that change his views on the marriage. How he should respect it, how his wife should not control him and/or his finances, how she cannot tell him not to marry that house help as a second wife because she is now pregnant.

Never forget, your bachelor friends never did anything to your woman but they just remind her of who you are 110% of the time you are with them. Some of them have the morals of an alleycat.

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