3 reasons people abuse their partners
21 January 2016, 12:34
It is hard to understand the motive of people who are involved in abuse. The question of abuse in relationships has no easy answer and even the strongest attempt to establish why people make these seemingly irrational choices become more confusing.
Here are possible explanations as to why:
1. Difficulty tolerating injury
Knowing how to survive hurt without retaliating is an important relationship skill. Most people who abuse their partners do not know what to do with feelings like disappointment, hurt and shame. Being able to tolerate injuries without punishing the other person is one of the most important skills for survival of a relationship. Because inevitably you partner is bound to hurt your feelings or disappoint you from time to time.
Read Also: Broke men should avoid dating
2. Lack of empathy
We always talk of putting ourselves into other people's shoes but for some people, it is easier said than done. Abusive people do put themselves in their partners' shoes but not with generosity. They imagine that the other person wants to cause harm. The kind of empathy that helps us to be decent requires generosity and willingness to give people the benefit of the doubt.
3. Un-addressed trauma
Most abusive partners have a history of complex childhood trauma, living in homes where they witnessed or were themselves abused and a history of unresolved trauma which results in high reactivity to injury. For people who grew up in high conflict families, abusive behavior can seem very normal to them.
For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.