3 reasons men fear the independent woman
16 March 2015, 14:19
Nairobi - I would understand why any Kenyan man would have problems
dating or being in a relationship who is more financially stable than he is or
totally independent of him. I am not talking about her earning KES 30,000 more
than him; I am talking about women who are earning six figure salaries, own big
businesses or run those high flying well to do companies.
There are also all
kinds of perceptions, wrong bad perceptions, about the Kenyan woman who is a
boss lady. She is arrogant, she is emasculating, has an attitude-a bad one, is
forceful and does not know how to submit and most of the time it is true but
other times it does not apply to them. Believe it or not a woman can submit even
if she is earning a salary ten times more than you, the trick is to be THE MAN
that can make her submit. A boss lady can be nurturing too, just because she is
sitting at the helm of things does it mean that she is castrated of any form of
feminine tendencies or feelings.
Concentrating too much on the assumed cons of dating a high
flying woman makes you blind to the many positives that come with the pros of
actually having one in your life. What man does not want a woman who is
business minded and well connected as well as able to support the family when
he falls short? As compared to the one that when you run out of fuel then the
car comes to a stop because she will not have gas money to back you up until
you get to the next ATM.
So what does it take to be the man that can actually date
and be in a fruitful (not conning) relationship a top notch Kenyan business
woman that actually works and is not put out by meager issues?
First of all, I think you need to have a brain, an
Keep in mind that you
cannot approach her the way you would approach a regular Jane on the streets.
Connish lines and cockiness will not work as she sees that all the time with
the people she works with. You need to be able to stimulate her
conversationally, do not be all about business though she hers enough of that
in her everyday transactions. If she brings up a topic, would you be able to
hold your own or will you stammer your way through. Not being able to match her
mind will make you fall short, that is how she knows not to submit to you ever
already and yet you are not even started.
She is not interested in your money or what is ‘yours’
Remember she has her own, so you will need to step up your
game a few notches higher…. or maybe a lot. Where you would get it wrong is
trying to compete with her and telling her how you could this and that better.
The kinder gestures will go a longer way as well as being gentlemanly. She does
not see enough of that with the people she deals with. Business is cutthroat so
you need to make her feel like she is a woman when she is with you. Opening
doors never gets old, buying her flowers (if she likes them), remembering
little things about her that she tell you about herself. Basically showing her
that you care about her as a person as well as her interests. Never try to
compete unless you want to haggle over tenders with her.
Never allow her to walk all over you
As a defense mechanism, most well to do Kenyan ladies have a
front. If you approach her she will already be on the defensive. The weaker man
will turn tail and run but if you know what you are about you will know how to
be assertive. If you are a pushover she will walk all over you and that is when
such relationships do not work. If it is a decision you are making stand your
ground and let her know you are the man, she will respect you more for it. You
are not trying to be her employee but her man.
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