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3 reasons I do not want a wedding

21 September 2015, 18:51 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  My mother thinks I am a very jaded person. I did not want a graduation party, now I do not want a wedding. I just think that my family is very disorganized and I do not like disorganization. How I choose to look at it as is that I am a very practical person. Not in a negative way either. I just tend to sit down and ask myself questions before I embark on anything. Would I want a wedding and wear a pretty dress, maybe, but that is just one day which is where my problem comes in. I just do not understand all that time, expense and effort that has to go in to one day.


That is self-explanatory. As in all that money, that has to go in on one day so that people can drink wine, eat nyama choma and good food; for one day not to mention the dress and ring!

Is it what my to-be husband would want?

My opinion is my opinion but what many women fail to ask after is their man’s opinion. Is your wedding what your man wanted or wants in the first place? It is assumed but it is never asked after. And most of the time when you sit down and actually think about it, the man takes up the cost; his family might not be that well to do neither might they be inclined to take up such costs.

The reason why a lot of marriages fail after a wedding is not because all of a sudden you became incompatible but because of all the aggression, negotiation and compromising over little things that do not matter had to take place. A year of engagement and wedding planning makes someone question whether you are actually the one for them.

Where are you right now financially?

Having a Harambee in order to have a wedding; have one to take your kids to school or build yourself a home, but for a wedding, a one day event? I do not think that is very bright; but that is just me! Have a wedding because it is an afterthought. An afterthought of all the important things you have going on in your life. A business, school fees, mortgage, or a loan you have to pay off but do not let it be the reason you are left hanging and struggling after it is all over. Wedding are about being happy, if you think you will wake up the following day and be depressed then do not do it. It is al-right to wait. Who cares if you do it after 40? It is your wedding, not theirs.

I think that if I ever plan a wedding it would be like a fair, people just getting together to have fun because I would know what makes my marriage work already and how it works. Vows are okay but if no one’s heart is in it then it was all a waste of time.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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