3 dangers to your marriage
01 October 2015, 19:01
Nairobi - Is your marriage in danger? Here are signs that it probably is.
Associating gender roles with who is the head of the family
The problem with why a lot of marriages and families do not
work out but break down is because there is a lot of confusion. Equality was
fought for but the people who were given that equality do not know what to do
with it. Roles are constantly being reversed because one minute someone is the
breadwinner and the next day their spouse gets the crown by being the better
earning one. The question does not become how you can help your spouse but why
you should help them like they are not your family but colleague. Then there is
the power struggle and one spouse is telling the children that they should not
respect this parent since they are not doing this or that for them. So it is
not even about you two anymore but your bringing your own children into it. At
meal times you stand there wondering who to serve first because mum is paying
all the bills and is tired but isn’t dad the head of the family?
If you have not succeeded in anything yet, you are hoping to
get it from marriage
If you are not happy right now with yourself or where you
are then try looking for what will give you that before you get married. If you
do not and betting all your cards on marriage then you are already setting it
up for failure and hoping that your partner resolves this for you. They will
not bring you that happiness if you cannot find it for yourself including your
children. They are a joy, but they move out and then you are left there
side-eyeing their father or mother asking them what they have ever done for
Forgetting your partner after the children come in
It is never done intentionally, but after giving birth,
every mother is given room for a host of reasons; to heal, postpartum
depression and to take care of the baby. Then you take of the baby fro six
months, one year and before you know it, it is year two you are having another
one but you and your partner have drifted apart. Children take over, if you are
a parent, you do already know that but do not forget the person you had them
with. It creates a hole that needs to be filled and when you forget to fill it,
it eventually gets filled by something or someone else.
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