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3 common mistakes in relationships

17 August 2015, 15:15 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Mistakes are common fodder in relationships. Here are a few that are too common.

Investing your time on those not doing the same for you

For any sort of relationship to actually work, you have to be with someone who is putting in the same amount of energy that you are. If you are the one who is doing all the calling, all the asking, all the looking and rearranging yourself to fit into their world; it might not work or go far. They have to be part of the process. If you are giving, they have to be also giving. If they are not, then you end up finding yourself in a loop, invested yourself in someone who eventually tells you, ‘you are not the one for them’.

If you are interested in someone, let them know from the beginning that is how you avoid the friend zone. Don’t let them hold you up because they are not sure. If they aren’t move on. If you wait around, you only have yourself to blame.

Investing with your wallet

It really is nice to receive things-presents. The problem is when you want someone and from the beginning of the relationship, you try to win them over with what you can buy them. It is not their fault but yours when you can no longer do it so they end up not being interested. It is like a game you are playing. They go off the grid, so you dig in your wallet. If the wallet is not available, they are also not available.

They end up liking you, not for who you are and just being with you but for what you can do for them.

Changing for them

The people you chase after and want to be in a relationship with do not like you for who you really are. You act differently in order to impress them so that they would want to be with you. Maybe!

Thing is, what you are showing are your insecurities with yourself, so why would you expect them to want to be around someone like that. They can buy into it for as long as it interests them but it wears off and it gets old. Then they move on. If they ever choose to settle with you, they will never respect you because they know that you can be easily molded into what they want. Changing yourself only makes sense when it is a bad habit you are letting go of; otherwise, it is redundant.

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