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3 aspects to relationship forgiveness

08 March 2016, 18:23 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There are two sides when it comes to moving on after the fact; when you are moving on and you are trying to decide whether to forgive them or you will be giving them the opportunity to walk all over you again.

It is wither you are forgiving and staying or you know that they are not planning to change so you forgive and move on. Because holding onto anything I can assure you will make you a bitter and resentful person. If you are still living with the person you would rather decide if you are staying or leaving.

If you are staying, it is because I hope that the person is making the adjustment to change for you and you are not staying in a situation whereby you will still be suffering the same. You will have solved nothing.

When you do not forgive and move on past something; you are giving it control over your life

You will be making decisions by considering that fault first, and then the other important issues come second. You are giving it control over your life because ultimately, it is no longer about you and what you want. Letting go of something is the only way you can be clear headed about anything.

There will always be that fault that will ruin anything good in that relationship

One off mistake; let go of it but the reason I said that you can consider walking away is because there are people we know who do not regret anything. Those ones walk away but if you are still sticking around, then you are making a commitment to rebuild the trust and not bring it up every time there is an issue. You are making a commitment not to hold onto grudges and be waiting for payback. Revenge only leads to one thing-resentment because afterwards you realize that you do not feel any better. Worse still is when they accept what you have done and are not as hurt as you would have wanted.

Move on from it because you do not want to wake up and feel like you have wasted your life on one person who was never worth it to you

Be careful who you choose to have a relationship with because they will hurt you eventually and you will need to be able to be selfless especially if kids are involved. You cannot be jumping from one person to the next looking for that one thing that was caused by a mistake a long time ago. You will never find it because you are still holding onto some resentment.

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