3 MUSTS in a healthy relationship
01 September 2015, 15:23
Nairobi - A certain adage comes to mind when I think of this topic.
What a man can do a woman can also do. Right? Wrong! Look at it this way. If a
man goes and has sex with 100 women, his penis will remain the same.
Discounting STDs of course! On the other hand, if a woman goes out and does the
same, with a 100 men; we all know her vagina will not look the same. Hurts, but
it is the truth.
Which leads me to, a man can be with three women at the same
time, all of them messing with him but because he was barely investing anything
with any of them, he can easily move on. A woman on the other hand, will have
this one man, invest herself wholeheartedly in him and when it all crashes down
on her, she crashes too. Just because she allows it, we tend to take things a
bit too far when it comes to out nurturing and caring. To save yourself all
that drama, I just have one advice: have a man invest in you with his total
commitment, actions and not words, house keys then, you invest your nurturing
and caring on him.
There is being
independent then there is being used
You can have your own car, your own money, your own house,
basically your own everything but they are a contingency plan. The phrase my
money is my money and your money is our money exists for a reason; because men
were meant to be providers to their women and children. You should learn not to
be an enabler. The guy gets locked out of his house for not paying rent, he
works, never takes you out so where does him money go to? You let him move in
with you but he still does not chip in. That is being an enabler not caring and
There is space, and
then there is SPACE
Space is when someone comes home at the end of the day and
you see they are tired so you give them time to cool off and relax before you
bombard them with your issues.
SPACE is when you let that man sell you all kinds of shit
under the sun. You cannot visit him at his house-ever. You should keep this
“relationship” a secret- don’t tell anyone even your mother. His money is
always in a bind so he has never been able to afford to take you out. You
cannot question him on anything; you get the drift. Between these two types of
space, you will see how you got yourself in that bind.
He and his girlfriend
have been going through something, and he is trying to get away from it
A man does not have to be married to make a fool out of you.
Men need shoulders to cry on to. Do it if you are just a friend and not hoping
for more. But if deep down you know you want him, let him know, get a response
and move on from there. People break up if they want to break up, they do not
need time to think on it or how to break it to the other person. If they do,
they are working on their relationship and not planning a break up.
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