1 easy way to know if your man loves you
09 April 2015, 17:45
Nairobi - There is a reason why love is so fickle and all too nonexistent in our time. Everything is handled with the speed of light and we make decisions at milliseconds rather than actually sitting down and really thinking things through.
John* sounded attractive on the phone, now that you have met him he is crossed out. He just does not do it for you and you dial the next number on the phone. When I look at Millicent’s photos on Instagram, she looked very nice, so I just left a comment on her page, when she replied, I was really excited. After meeting Millicent*, I did not know that filter could work such wonders on someone’s appearance. Technology has taught us not to put too much effort and expect the least from someone. That is the difference between us and the old school people.
A couple that existed a century ago had to run a mile when they wanted to be with someone. There were no phones, no emails, no skype or chat and most definitely not WhatsApp. I am a culprit because if you hit me up on WhatsApp and you do not look too good, I do not give you a chance.
If someone wanted to see the girlfriend or wife to be, they had to make the effort to clear some part of their schedule in order to see them. You did not want to be outwitted by the village boy that your woman was living next to. There were no phone’s to stalk someone or Facebook to confirm their whereabouts for you. If you wanted to see them, you had to get off your seat and go to their house. That was making an effort because you knew all it took is to miss out one weekend and you were out of the picture.
On the other hand, right now, you can just go on Facebook and it gives you a location. You just call, have a conversation and you are not too worried because as long as you are talking then you are in the picture. No effort on the man’s part because all he need are at his fingertips. No cost and no hustle of looking for a matatu to get you to her neighborhood. She expects the least effort too because we have ‘evolved’ our thinking to that which is done today. Like everybody else.
In hind sight (I also appreciated it then too), I appreciate the man that I was once in a relationship with. He would be at work or wherever. He would call and if I told him I did not have anything to eat at the house. The man would come all the way to my house, even at midnight, he did not have a car by the way. He would look for food for me to eat that night and breakfast as well. Ready-made mind you. That was a man putting in effort. That is how I know the much that I should get from a relationship. I am not saying you do the same but it was that thoughtful approach that made me appreciate that man. How many of you ladies can testify to the same.
Some man you are talking to calls and does not even ask if you are okay or what might be troubling you. He is just concerned to get together the next time. He never picks you up or drops you off but you had better figure out how to be in and out of his place when you are done. In not wanting to be alone you never rock the boat. You get married and you wonder why he does not put any effort to what you have now. If you taught him that you expect the least do not cry foul that you get the least.
If you are not working on any relationships that you have now, and choosing the easy way out. Then how or why do you expect your marriage to be any different. Down the line, someone has marries more than three people in the span of one decade because they were hoping that the next one will do it for them. Take a page from the old school couples that you see around you. Appreciate the effort and sacrifice that someone had to make in order for them to work. It is in the little things that you actually find what you have been looking for.
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