Why many Christian marriages don't work
14 August 2016, 09:32
Nairobi - Research shows that church peoples’ marriages are just as likely to end up in divorce like the other none churched people. Some researches place the index even higher. why would people who are supposed to be the salt and light of the earth be anything but that? There are many reasons for this parody and here are a few.
Believers put a high and unrealistic expectation on themselves and their partner and when they find cracks in his or her character they get devastated angry and very unforgiving. People who are not churchy expect their partner to falter at one point or the other and are more forgiving and accommodating.
Hiding true feeling
Believers don’t discuss issues openly when they are hurt. This is because of wanting to look pious and not worldly. The problem with this approach is that when issues get out of hand there is no salvaging the relationship.
Wanting to Impress Others
In abide to look spiritual they also avoid discussing the issues with mentors and other helpers. They cover true feelings in testimonies of how God is great and has been good to them. They discuss truths in the bible but never how these truths affect them directly and which areas they need to change. They are knowledgeable about God but don’t have him as a shepherd of their heart.
More judging than loving
In many marriages we find more judging than loving. When one partner is walking in revelation, is prayerful and victorious in some areas, they become proud, angry and impatient with the weaker partner. We are called to love and be patient with each other as Christ forgave us. When we are strong in one area we don’t understand why someone else is struggling in that area and want to condemn them and pass judgment on them. we think that they are not worthy of our love or companionship. Before long we begin to contemplate separating ourselves because being together causes more pain than joy. We start saying that two cannot walk together unless they agree.
Head knowledge of God
Many Christians have a head knowledge of God but lack the fruit of the spirit. This is knowing more about the psalm and not the Shepherd paradox. A spouse who is close to you will at some point fail you because they are human. What makes people stay together is how much fruit of the spirit we have in our heart. love, patience, long suffering, goodness meekness etc.