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That type of love is not worth it

10 May 2016, 17:35 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You see, I have a love-hate relationship when it comes to cooking. I like to cook and enjoy it but if you tell me to cook, I will be very angry and mad but if you tell me because you like what I make, I will make it even better. I don’t know, that is just the way I am.

But, gosh, there was this time I went to a friend and on waking up the following morning, we were having eggs for breakfast. So everyone is making their eggs and it suddenly is my turn to be in the kitchen and because I am ravenously hungry, I am happy. I go into the kitchen and I do a double take because, wow, people can make food in such an environment? But because I do not want to be mean or disrespectful, you don’t say anything; you just make your eggs and eat. That was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. I am slowly starting to realize that being nice is never quite the thing. My tummy which never has any attacks made me alight from a matatu and literally go borrow a washroom. Yes, I went and borrowed washroom. I have never gone to see the said friend again. Some things are just about God telling you, ‘It is over.’

What does my thing with food have to do with love?

Just recently I fell in emotion for some man and he was not from around here. Ladies, you know those men that make you stalk them and you creep all over his life because you know he is your husband? I even went as far as finding out how they make food back in his hometown and how I could be the best at it. I researched, made and found a new cuisine because of a man.

Then, when this man started being, I don’t know what to call it; but you know how men get when they know you like them so now they can do whatever they want with whomever because they know you will still be waiting? I realized I was being desperate.

I was being desperate yet this man had not proved himself to me or made me feel like I was the one but I was already ‘in love’. Girl, I had to drop those symptoms really fast. I am not saying it was easy but some men are just not worth it.

I do not want a love where I have to prove myself to someone so that they can pick me or show them how good I am so they can like me more. Take me as I am or just leave me; that is my rule. I like a man who tells me I am not good enough. I like a man that tells me he can have better. I like such men because they allow me to move on and when they pop up again to disrupt my life, I put them on pause.

Ladies, take the same route and I assure you, you will be so much better off. Stop trying to prove your love to someone who chooses to not want it. You will never be enough. Just like I had a crush five seconds ago and now I think this man’s haircut makes him the new ‘it’, you will find someone else. Don’t prove anything to any man. A man made for you, will like you whether you can cook his favorite meal or can’t.

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