17 April 2016, 18:01
We spend so much time thinking about sex, daydreaming about sex, looking for sex, watching sex, reading about sex and getting our partners to have sex. When we actually make this happen most people have an orgasm that lasts on average 20 seconds.
SOMETHING HERE DOESN'T ADD UP!
If that is the result of all our efforts it's not surprising that so many people in relationships quickly become sexually bored and so many single people constantly look for new partners. It's also not surprising that we are always looking for new ways to have sex, new positions and experiences.
With this attitude we simply will never be fulfilled.
Successful lovemaking can never be about simply achieving those few seconds of pleasure, and if we are honest, the pleasure is often not wonderful. In fact it's often nothing more than a release of tension.
Many aspects of our lives require education and training that we receive at school, university or college. We even take lessons to improve our sports and hobbies. Yet for an activity that we put so much effort into there is very little training available. We also mistakenly maintain the attitude that we know all there is to being a good lover. The very fragile and delicate male ego is particularly guilty of this.
When I first became aware of the idea of sexual energy, of sex being a process rather than a goal-oriented activity, my life changed.
Sexual energy is linked to every aspect of our lives, even those parts not directly connected to sex.
This energy has many components and here are a few: Creativity, Personal Power, Spirituality and of course Sexuality.
CREATIVITY is the energy of creation that brings us into being. Without this there would be no flowers, trees, birds, stars or people. It is the energy that we use in all artistic expression, whatever form that may take.
This is also the energy that we use to create our lives, to create who we are. It determines how we do what we do, at home, at work, at play and in bed. This is what determines whether our lives are dull or exciting, whatever the circumstances.
PERSONAL POWER: On every occasion in life where we have been made to feel less than we are, not good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough or rich enough this energy is lessened. As a result we lose power.
SPIRITUALITY: This aspect of our sexual energy includes love and intimacy. It also allows us to use sexuality to reach higher levels of consciousness, have peak emotional experiences with a partner and explore Tantra and Taoist sexual practices.
SEXUALITY: This includes sex, eroticism, and sensuality. As long as we are unfulfilled we lose out on the playfulness, fun, adventure and sharing of this energy.
Awareness and using these energies makes sex more exciting, more intimate. They totally do away with boredom. When the sex component of our lives doesn't work it effects and impacts on every other part of our lives. We become irritable, our communication suffers, we have less energy, more stress, and more health problems. We get locked into a spiral that creates more and more problems and effects more of our lives.
The following techniques and workshops can include these energies in our lives and help create a deeper level of intimacy, of emotional connection and communication. They can bring many new dimensions to lovemaking from the playful to the serious and give the benefit of enormous pleasure.
EXPANDED ORGASM: This technique allows you to give your partner an orgasm for 20/ 30 minutes or more. THIS IS FOR REAL! It's a manual technique using hands and fingers to give your partner a gift of enormous pleasure. This orgasm extends into a full body orgasm.
TAOIST SEXUAL ENERGY MASSAGE: This is a very gentle massage that clears the channels that energy - specifically sexual energy - flows in. It builds up arousal while at the same time deepening relaxation. This wonderful massage climbs a ladder of building energy up and then spreads it throughout the body. There are many healing benefits of this as well as bringing a different quality to lovemaking.
NON-EJACULATORY ORGASM FOR MEN: This allows men to move into the realm of multiple orgasms, to last longer and STAY AWAKE AFTER SEX. After ejaculating most men are ready for sleep and lose interest in satisfying their partner or cuddling and holding. By learning to conserve this energy, sex can actually become an invigorating and energizing experience for a man.
MAKING MORE THAN LOVE: An ongoing workshop that explores sensuality, eroticism, intimacy, games, Tantra & Taoist practices.
INTERNAL MASSAGE: An extremely deep form of healing that releases many blockages and reverses past patterns. Often the issues that this works on have nothing to do with sex, yet it indicates how everything in our lives is connected to sex. It also shows how we can use sexual energy to heal so much else.
Our view on growth and healing is linked to pain. We believe that healing hurts and we need to go back into the pain to release it. My suggestion is to forget about this old standard and rather use the energy of pleasure and gentleness for healing.
When we acknowledge the power of our sexuality and integrate our sexual energy into our lives we are able to be sexually, emotionally and spiritually fulfilled. Then the time we put into sex becomes valid for the results we achieve, the healing and the pleasure, the joy in expressing the love that we are, that we have and can share.
Jonti Searll gives lessons in:Taoist Sexual Energy Massage
Erotic Poetry Workshops
Internal and Perineal Massage for Healing
Jonti also gives talks to groups, clubs etc.
He can be contacted on: 082 6680 769