Sex from a Muslim woman’s perspective
04 January 2016, 14:36
Sex - many-sided, magnificent, mysterious, enticing, passionate, reflecting, refracting; ever-changing, conundrum of a word.
But try bringing it up in a conversation, a definite “killer” of a convo, there will be an uncomfortable silence, blushes or giggles and sometimes this topic causes temporary hearing loss.
We find ourselves living in an over sexualised world.
From radio; television; magazines to a simple advert on TV; reality shows; billboards on a highway; politics to online pornography.
An average person is exposed to 9000 sexual scenes per year.
Yet sex is taboo.
Sex is different for everyone, as different as chalk and cheese. Some people are as black and white about SEX and then there are some who will discover a million shades in between. It happens in all communities, all race groups and no matter which religion you follow. Even though we might have clear guidelines about these aspects, it does not mean that people are not indulging in them.
For some people, sex is a dirty word.
I can see eyebrows already being raised, she’s Muslim, how can she even talk about the topic of sex? The alarming rate of HIV/AIDS means we can and we should. HIV does not decide on race, colour, religion or status.
We are still in a state of ignorance with regard to sex issues. Women need to be more comfortable with their own sexuality. Ask questions, finding out about SEX does not make you any less of a person or a “wanton” woman. I am not proposing or advocating sex, but sex education no matter how old you are; is important.
1400 years ago the Muslim men and women were never too shy to ask questions to the Prophet (PBUH) including those related to private affairs such as sexual life. So from an ISLAMIC perspective, this is not a religious hindrance.
This has nothing to do with religious teachings and everything to do with cultural upbringing.
We have a duty to acquire knowledge and to share this knowledge. Most females are sometimes hesitant to bring up the subject with anyone whether it’s their parents, spouses, sisters or girlfriends. They end up confused, misled and even shocked to discover what is expected of them.
Whether or not you are sexually active, it’s imperative that women know about their sexual health, understand themselves and their needs and what to expect. It’s not the budding topic for every conversation one gets involved in. Our mothers and their mothers felt it was a topic never ever to be brought up.
Growing up in the 80’s, I recall teens were constantly questioning sex. What is sex? Who’s having sex? The knowledge we gained about canoodling was from a copy of a steamy novel; like Princess Daisy and this was the notion we grew up with about SEX. Back in the day, missionary meant someone involved in religious work.
If our generation of women, help educate the younger generation, we will be able to bridge that generational gap. Today’s young women have greater power; they definitely have more perks than women of yester-year - money, mobile phones, and social networks.
No matter what the tenets are in your religion, premarital sex is occurring, homosexuality exists, extra-marital affairs are increasing, polygamy (whether you approve or not is prevalent). Most people feel if one discusses sex at home, it will be a temptation go out and experiment. If you bring up the topic of STD’s, you probably have it hence you are asking questions.
Gone are the days when flowers bobbed towards each other on the TV screens. When holding hands in public drew frowned looks. When staying out beyond 10 p.m. destroyed a young woman's reputation.
Today, sex is trying to make sense of where it should reside- behind the purdah or out in the open. Sexuality is complex, fluid, and human. We can discuss the meanderings between the sheets in a respectful and mature manner and break the chain of ignorance.
How 'sexy' is sex?
Is sex too sexy to be discussed?
Sex is causing world's population to grow faster and faster, are we still going to tell our teens it’s through wind pollination?
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