Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.


How to spot an abuser

19 March 2016, 19:27 Lili Radloff

Maybe you’ve been there yourself, maybe you have a friend or a family member trapped in a relationship with an unsavoury man. Maybe you’re just entering one. Be warned, the emotional damage is huge and may take years to heal.

So get clued up. Learn how to look for warning signs of a bad relationship. Try to understand how this happens. I’ve chatted with my sister, an infinitely clever psychologist, and she gave me the following pointers:

7 signs of an emotional and physical abuser:

• Nothing is ever his fault. He will blame his parents, his boss, circumstances, you… But he never takes ownership for his mistakes, flaws or behaviour.

• He alienates you from your friends and family in order to make sure you have no support network. He becomes the center of your universe and cuts off all ties to other people.

• He manipulates you through a system of praise and punishment. Do as he says and you’ll be made to feel like he’s the only person in the world who sees how special you are. Disobey him and he’ll make you feel worthless and stupid. He’ll prey on your insecurities and use your past hurts against you.

• He thinks he is above the law – the rules of society are not applicable to him and therefore he can do as he pleases.

• He needs constant admiration and craves recognition and praise.

• He shows a complete lack of empathy. His feelings are the only ones that matter.

• He’s obsessed with grandiose fantasies of himself as being god-like and invincible. He degrades and humiliates you to make himself feel superior. And then he punishes you for being degraded and humiliated because he thinks he’s better than you.

Have you been a victim of such a person? Do you have advice on how to free yourself from the clutches of an abuser? Comment below and let your story help others.


Read News24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Wilwon Ochieng
Deputy Governor's ally found with...

The EACC has recovered KES 2 million in fake currency from a close ally of Deputy Governor for Tharaka Nithi Eliud Mati. Read more...

Submitted by
William Korir
Mudavadi given permission to join...

Musalia Mudavadi has been ghranted permission by his party to join the CORD Coalition. Read more...

Submitted by
Victor Tinto
EACC officers raid Deputy Governo...

EACC officers raided the home of a Deputy Governor as theft case continues in court. Read more...

Submitted by
Wilson Ochieng
New IEBC bosses to be named Novem...

New IEBC bosses will be named on November 30. Read more...

Submitted by
William Korir
DP Ruto has spoilt my name, activ...

DP William Ruto has spoilt my name, activist complains. Read more...

Submitted by
Wilson Ochieng
Apologise for attack on Auditor G...

Apologise for attack on Auditor General, President Uhuru Kenyatta is told by Kisumu Senator Anyang Nyong'o. Read more...