Getting unsolicited dick pictures while online dating
16 March 2016, 17:35
Men of a certain age have become very fucking lazy.
I mean, they’ve always been lazy, sitting in front of the television and shouting out to their women,
"Hey babe, bring me another beer!"
"Hey babe, won’t you just rub my shoulders while I scratch my arse?"
But lately the Internet has made them worse. Far worse.
Now, in between watching soccer, they sit in front of their computers, and they surf.
They surf, mostly for sex. They’re on porn sites or online dating sites, which, these days, are pretty much one and the same.
Men get their rocks off online.
It’s easy. They don’t have to make an effort. They don’t have to clean up, shave or wear clothes. They don’t have to get in a car, pay for petrol, and even worse, pay for dinner.
They can be online. They can be anyone they want to be, and they can fuck to their hearts content, without risk of heart attack. And they don’t have to work at helping us women to orgasm.
The biggest benefit is they can do this at half time, so they don’t miss a single bit of the soccer.
Women, on the other hand, are getting bored. I know I am.
I am bored of meeting men (not on porn sites, but on dating sites) who, within three minutes of a conversation, allude to online sex. Men who, within three minutes of a conversation, think you want to see a picture of their dick.
Women’s private parts are pretty. We’re soft and fleshy. We have folds that lead to special places. We’re kinda pink and mysterious and fragile. We taste good, we smell good, and we’re delicious.
Dicks can be attractive too, if they belong to a man that you really like AND KNOW. But when it’s a photo of a strange dick, bright red and close up, I don’t know about you, but it does not do it for me.
Last night someone sent me a picture. Not just a picture. A VIDEO!
This was a first.
I had spoken to the guy online, on a ‘reputable’ dating site. He seemed nice. His profile was that of a businessman. His photo was decent. He lives nearby. We chatted for a while, decided that it would be worth meeting, and exchanged phone numbers. I rarely exchange phone numbers anymore, because I’ve developed trust issues, but, as I said, he seemed decent.
Within three minutes I had a video.
I had a video of him masturbating.
His bright red, huge, thick dick, pulsating, in and out, getting redder and thicker and actually more disgusting with every movement. I couldn’t help watching, although after about twenty seconds I was heading to the kitchen to make banana bread. It felt like a much more satisfying thing to do.
I haven’t deleted the video. Or him. Mostly because I am sick. And tired. And because I know he is not who he says on the site. And I am sure that while he sits doing what he does, there probably is a wife weeping in the kitchen, tears spilling in to her own cake mixture.
I am sick of liars, and cheats, and perverts.
And mostly I am sick of dick pics.
I’m going to find out who he really is, and I’m going to give him a fright. I don’t want to see a dick pic. I certainly don’t want to see a video.
And I don’t want anyone else to see these things either.
Unless they choose to of course.
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