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Games women play while dating

03 May 2016, 14:40 Shakila Alivista

Nairobi - It is very interesting when an adult who is dating has no idea as to whether they are playing too hard to get or they are being too easy. So I will do the honorable thing and ask, ‘What do you mean?’

Then they will say, ‘I like this person but I do not want them to think I am easy. I want them to work hard and show effort because we all know that men like things that they have really worked hard for.’


Yes, it is true. Most men do appreciate what took more effort to have as compared to what was easy for them to gain. Yes, it defeats my mind too.

So when you are there, telling him and showing him you are the one and thinking ‘at least I am not playing games with you.’ Chances are you are not winning any cards with that one. As long as he knows you are around, he will continue chasing that which is his ambition or too out of his league until he realizes that she actually does not want him; then he will circle back to you-sucks to be a second option.

That is why, when a man shows me total disregard, I take that and move on. I will make sure I am prettier, sexier and more confident the next time he sees me. Even if I am single and he is as well; he asks me out. I will tell that man no. Not because I have too much pride because I have improved but because I know I was always the second option to him and he will treat me that way. You do not want that. Trust me ladies. I know I am speaking to a lot of women.

When a man tells you no; he tells you he is too busy for you; you move on and of course as women, we go home and ask ourselves what could be wrong with you. It is that minute of doubt we all experience after rejection. So you work on whatever you can. Then you smile because, ‘Oh well, that is cool too. You win some and you lose some.’ But…

That person will resurface again when you are doing better. Please, send him back to whatever women or ambition he has abandoned to come and see what you have. He is just coming to figure you out and know what changed then when he is done, guess what you are back to second place.

That is not playing hard to get but realizing your worth and how someone is not worth it.

Playing hard to get is what ruins a lot of would be relationships, would have been couples and spoils the experience for a lot of those who are dating.

As an adult you want that when you approach someone and you tell them you are interested; if there is no mutual interest they let you know so that you move on. If there is mutual interest, you do not want someone to play some game with you.

I am not saying when someone tells you they like you; you take off to their house the first day. That is being easy.

If they come and tell you of their interest what you can say is this, ‘Yes, I might like you but let us date first and see where that goes.’ See, you have not said you will totally accept them but you have let them know that if they act right, you might like them as well. So you have just given them room to pursue you without you being easy. You are not playing games neither are you wasting someone’s time. Keeping them around when you know that you do not want anything to do with them is not quite the thing because that is what most women do. The reason most women end up miserable in their thirties or forties looking for commitment is not because they never had attention. I tell you, every devil has a follower. The thing is, in their prime, they took advantage of so many men. Using them to get what they want and dumping them with no excuse; such that when she circles back, he is the first person that will warn any man interested; ‘That woman is not good news.’

You burn bridges yourself by treating people like scrap when you are the ‘it’ thing.  That does not last by the way and that is when someone reminds you that beauty fades and when someone is beautiful on the inside, who will not pick that?

That woman that was getting passed up for you before, if single now the same as you will be picked before you are. How you treat people when you are in demand matters because everyone remembers that. So play whatever game you choose to play but know that everything has a consequence.

When something/someone good comes you way, appreciate it, respect it and learn to say thank you. Reciprocate then repeat. Don’t start acting a fool because someone is thirsty for dates with you, you think they will stick around for long? People get tired of being made fools of.

- MyNews24

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