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Are you having sex?

23 July 2016, 16:57 Michael Kennedy

I was driving through town the other day when a woman driver pulled out in front of me.

No indicator to suggest she needed to cut me off. So I flicked her and opened and closed my hand a few times to recommend next time she use her indicators to prevent an accident and show common decency.

What I got from her was a little unexpected, gesticulating frantically out her window, giving me the finger as if I was the one in the wrong.The surrealism of the incident fortunately didn’t cause any major road rage but she was obviously on something to causer that kind of rage. 

I thought she was going to fall out the window so desperate was she to communicate her F-U message to me for deigning to suggest she next time show some manners.

After a quiet chuckle to myself (the kids were in the car so I couldn’t very well swear or lose my cool anyway), I got to thinking. Why was she so pissed off at me when she was so clearly in the wrong?

Was it symptomatic of the daily fight we have with arrogant taxi drivers? Was she sober? Or is she just not getting any?

Now I don’t want to call her sex life into question, but frustration creeps in when your needs aren’t fulfilled and her fury clearly underlined some kind of repressed rage.

This got me to wondering about something I hear a lot of.  People are complaining that they don’t get any.  

Mostly a complaint from men, it is clear a lot of women aren’t getting any either, or if they are, it’s not very satisfying.  That especially after marriage, the sex well dries up for no apparent reason and that is really, really sad.

Now my question is two-fold, firstly this: Why are guys not getting action? Is it because they’ve let themselves go, or they are poor lovers, or their wives/partners are no longer interested?

And secondly, if their wives are not interested, why have so many millions of women (and not those looking for titillation) bought and read the book? What exactly are they looking for? Or is really just curiosity – to see what the hype is all about? 

If it has liberated them to think about sex in a more welcoming manner, why are people complaining that there’s no sex happening.

If nothing else, 50 Shades made the reading of ‘mommy porn’ acceptable. 

Women can now talk openly about it without snide remarks or questioning looks from their co-workers.  But has it liberated them as I asked in the previous article?

Why would men not get any if women are so openly accepting of 50 Shades?  Men hardly need a reason for sex (they just need a place), but women do. And when 50 Shades provides some sexual excitement, why aren’t they acting on it?

Is it some deep-rooted shame that sex is evil?   

That men watching porn and then acting out their fantasies on their wives or girlfriends is wrong and that for a woman to read 50 Shades and then wanting to get it on would be no different?

The only right and wrong is if an action causes harm to someone.  Fantasies aren’t evil and nor is sex.  And if people aren’t getting it, there is something very wrong.  

Does marriage get in the way?

I’ve heard many people say that their sex life came to a halt after getting married and I wonder why that is.

We went from 100 times a month (no kidding) in our courtship years to about a quarter of that 15 years into marriage.  There are a number of reasons for that – most notably kids. 

But a healthy sex life is good for relationships and the obvious feel good hormonal response (in the case of Oxytocin release in the act of orgasm) that comes with having great sex.

Maybe ladies need to take their cues from men – don’t over evaluate or examine sex.  In other words, don’t look for a reason, just a place! 

- News24

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