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And you thought your ex was crazy?

03 April 2016, 10:04

Nairobi - It’s never nice to wake up to the news that someone has hijacked a plane.

Even when we try to stay positive, hoping for an outcome with minimal collateral damage, we know what to expect. More terror attacks, more killing of innocent people, more governments in turmoil, more rounds of retaliation bombings which inevitably lead to the deaths of yet more innocents…

So when it turned out that the man who hijacked the Egyptian passenger plane yesterday was wearing fake explosives in order to reroute the aircraft to Cyprus just so that he could see his ex-wife, it was almost comical.

Of course it must have been awful for the families of the passengers on board, but since no one got hurt I think we all heaved a collective sigh of relief. To be honest, I even had a bit of a giggle.

But it’s not funny.

Because anyone who’s ever been at the receiving end of an unstable ex’s antics can tell you how terrifying it is when someone you loved and left goes bananas.

Countless people have been terrorised by exes who just can’t let go. A mixture of narcissism, childishness and egomania make these jilted lovers see themselves as victims. Victims who would do almost anything to even the score.

While hijacking a plane seems rather extreme, things like stalking, harassment, revenge porn, destruction of property, acid attacks and murder are all more common than you think.

A mentally unstable ex is a truly dangerous thing. These people see love as a hostile takeover: I love you, therefore you must love me. I love you, therefore youcan’t leave me. I love you, therefore you are mine. They see other people as possessions instead of delineated humans who are capable of falling out of love, changing their minds and making choices of their own.

We’ve all been there. You might even have been that ex.

Tell us about it. You are welcome to remain anonymous.

So how does one let go after someone left you? Personally I think it has to do with respect. For the other person’s choices and for yourself. And empathy. And taking responsibility for yourself. It’s not easy, but it’s after all what love – real love – is about.

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- Woman24


Sex talk

27 October 2016, 10:03

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