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Why are women shy about sex?

30 June 2015, 09:21

There’s nothing more unnerving than having a conversation that revolves around SEX. Such a vulgar word yet it’s something that’s enjoyed by all.

Everyone’s been doing it and had it not been for our parents we wouldn’t be here. Okay, maybe that last statement was too much for the system and went too far, erase that.

Nonetheless, sex is something that is inevitable, fun, exciting and so many other things I’d rather not mention. And it baffles me why so many women cannot or won’t speak of it.

I sat with a group of women not so long ago, aged between thirty four and somewhere in the fifties; and this vibrant group had quite a reaction to the word.

For some they would rather have not heard it, and were quite embarrassed at the very thought of the conversation running longer than fifteen seconds and yet, for others it was the easiest topic to dissect.

Which got me thinking, why don’t we talk about it? Why is it so hard for women to say – no I don’t like sex, I tolerate it or yes I thoroughly enjoy every second of it. Fundamentally it stems from how we were brought up.

Read Also: 10 sex myths that must go

For most women, growing up in a society speaking openly about sex whether oral or penetrative, masturbation, toys and gadgets were all unheard of; a lady never spoke of such. And so that stayed with them throughout their lives.

Spilling over into womanhood and allowing that marred perception to become part of their very being. Now they are the same women who say, and I quote, : ‘personally I’m old school. I stick to my normal routine (meaning Friday is the day; only if the kids aren’t at home) my daughter is turning twenty five and my son eighteen.

I have this phobia of them walking in on us, hence no children in the home when making love for me’. Others would say: ‘I feel like a nerd and am scared to explore. What if my husband thinks my curiosity is my way of covering up an affair. Or what if he thinks I’m bored with him?’

How does one now change that perception, since it’s become a way of life? I’ve learned that you can’t. What you can do is talk. Talk to your girlfriends, talk to your partner, talk to whoever is brave enough to speak openly about sex.

In a lot of groups / cultures women talking about sex means divulging things about themselves they would rather not mention and yet when you think about it, it’s not really. It’s simply saying what you think would be best in any given situation; not necessarily what you’ve done or not done …yet.

When researching this subject in a group of fifty women; I asked if we have become a generation of women that are too afraid; are we ready to take control in the bedroom or are we safer in sticking to what we know. Thirteen brave women gave me their honest, most brutal replies (both for being open and some not) and that in itself speaks volumes for me.

Read Also: Why being single in winter is not as bad as it seems

That’s a mere twenty six percent of women who replied, what about the remaining seventy four I ask myself? The main message I got was that even though many have fought for equality, women still aren’t ready to lead. We want to be romanced, we want our guy to make the first move, we want, we want, we want.

On the flip side of that, what if the men are tired of doing the running around? What if they want to be romanced or to be led to the bedroom instead of leading? There’s an array of questions we could ask and that could possibly lead to another article, my point being I think it’s time we women really do step out of our comfort zones and allow the Vixen to come out and play.

Even if it means hosting bedroom parties (Pure Romance) or attending lingerie parties, or even both for that matter; nothing wrong a bit of education on our part. And I do believe a lot of men will be much happier because of it.

Having said all of that I hope I haven’t put my foot in it, I will have to now educate myself and find a few buddies who are willing to show me the difference between a ben wa ball and a yoni egg. Anyone?

Yours in exploring and adventure


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- Women24

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