Things not to do to your ex
20 January 2014, 09:45
Running into your ex is unavoidable if you share the same circle of friends, live in the same area or work in the same office.
I should know since I always have the pleasure of causally bumping into one of them when I’m at my worst: Think Bridget Jones before Colin Firth. But believe it or not, looking like I’ve been drinking all night is not the worst part of this scenario…
You see, I suffer from something called let-the-earth-swallow-me-whole syndrome. I get awfully stupid when I’m put on the spot which leads to me making a fool of myself. Once in a daring attempt to avoid one of those awkward meets I tried to hide myself in the detergents isle only to slip on a Sunlight Liquid spill and land flat on my face.
It was painful. And I am not referring to my bloody nose although ’clean-up on isle seven’ was an understatement.
So, here are a few tips on things not to do to your ex.
Don’t try and avoid him if he has already spotted you. Pretending that he does not exist won’t make him disappear; it will only make you seem rude.
If you do bump into him, don’t compare yourself to his new girlfriend and try to mimic her look. That’s just creepy.
Also, don’t pretend to be dating a hotter guy. You are beautiful, smart and funny, you don’t need to be desperate.
Talking about desperate, don’t EVER try to sleep with an ex. It will not reawaken the passion lost and it will only create complications that might prevent you from meeting other men.
Try not to be overly mean and brutally honest. If he farts in his sleep, twitter does not need to know that.
Don’t keep in contact with his family for the sole purpose of spying on him. Gurl, you ain’t got no time ‘fo dat.
You also don’t have time for stalking him, digitally or otherwise. Spend your energies on improving yourself.