The truth about waxing your vagina
19 July 2015, 18:04
There aren’t many beauty treatments that
are so invasive and toe-curling as a bikini wax. And I don’t mean one of those’ just the top ‘n
talking about a full on Hollywood, all off. Not one curly pube in sight.
wax took place is seedy old Sea Point in the back of a boutique by a woman name
It was in
anticipation of a trip to Bali, where I went the previous year and discovered
that spending 24/7 in a bikini, on a beach filled with kak sexy European women
required some serious landscaping.
daily was just out of the question.
To say I
was nervous was the understatement of the century, no one, but myself and my
Gynae had ever come as close to my poen as this woman was about to.
were slipping all over the steering wheel as I drove to my appointment which I
had already cancelled twice.
I found a
parking, which is nearly impossible in central Sea Point and once at the door
of the salon I almost made a run for it in the opposite direction. My cousin
Lara, always the go-to-girl when it came to ‘taboo’ subjects, instructed me to
take a couple of Panado’s beforehand for the pain.
instructed to remove all clothing below the navel, all clothing including my
naked on a massage table with my legs in the birthing position, trying in vain
not to clamp my thighs together and cry.
application of hot wax nearly sent me through the roof; I couldn’t come to
imagine what kind of pain that would induce in the more intimate areas.
was done, and it took a while due to me breathing like a woman passing a human
through her vagination, I felt like a changed woman.
I went to
Pat once a month for this ordeal and the more I went, the easier it got.
moved her salon. I never saw her again. My poor vag was left un-landscaped for
a while till I discovered Mandy’s Fabulous Film Wax pot which you place in the
microwave for a couple of minutes and then apply to your nether regions.
just say this, I am a fan of DIY when
it comes to fashion and décor but when it comes to waxing, ALWAYS have someone
do it for you.
weekend I set aside Saturday for some DIY pampering, a pedicure, a manicure,
dyeing my roots and massaging the ever expansion of my cellulite. Also on the
agenda was a wax.
left the apartment for a surf which I believe was more an escape from my
terrible screams and dry sobbing that always takes place during such invasive
treatment. It took me three hours to perform this.
areas are the easiest, the ‘lips’ are the most sweat producing, cry inducing,
toe scrunching, panicked area’s for hair removal.
cases I have been such a coward that I walked around the apartment with wax
stuck to my vajayjay for a while before I could muster the strength to rip it
it in the end and by the time the BF returned I was ‘fuzz free’ and quite proud
high-fived me for my efforts… Men will never know the lengths we go to in the
am still on the search for a waxing professional and if anyone knows where Pat
eloped to, please let me know, I’m scared that one day I’ll take off a little
more than some hair follicles.
For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!