Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.


Relax, your relationship is not doomed if you don’t compromise

04 June 2015, 18:19 Cath Jenkin

The phrase “long term relationship” used to scare me. Hilarious, I know but, in the past, I’d often hit a point in a relationship when it would start to ‘get serious’ and that’s when I’d tap out.

Nowadays though, I’m deep into that exact thing – the ‘long term relationship’.

Nearly six years into it, and I’ve realised that the cliché I used to freak out about, actually doesn’t apply.

Relationships are not all about compromise

“Relationships are all about compromise”, says the cliche. This is what used to freak me out, because compromise often insinuates that one person in the relationship would have to give up an element of their self or their happiness in order to “keep balance” and make the other person happy.

I loathed the idea of compromise. That’s probably because I have a tendency towards being an insular and self-centred individual, especially when I don’t get my way. Perhaps you do too – maybe we all do? I just know I’m done with trying to deny it.

A Refreshing Perspective

So it has always surprised me – albeit pleasantly – how the cliché of compromise has played itself out in this long-term relationship. Simply put, we don’t do compromise. Rather, we take turns at who gets to “go first” or take the seat of priority in a situation.

Here’s how we do it

My significant other and I both lead incredibly busy lives. Both of us juggle an array of professional responsibilities that often interrupt our routines or require us to be supportive of the other one. He might be on stage one night, and I’m presenting a talk the next.

We have what we call a “back up system” whereby our mutual support of each other exists without question. If he needs me, I’m both feet in. The very second I need him - he will be there. If it means moving schedules or turning something down, we’ll do it. Why? Because if it’s our turn to “go first”, then it’s our turn. No questions asked.

A Mutual Ground

One thing we are both immovable on though, is my kid. If there’s a schedule conflict that can’t be worked around, one of us will step in and be the attending parent for an event. If we can both be there, then that’s a bonus. But, no matter what happens, at the very least, one of us will be there to support my kid when she needs it.

I’ve had to rely on this when I have late meetings or evening events, and I have had to learn to lean. Difficult to do when you spent years being so defiantly independent that it took you ages to let him carry some groceries for you. Over time and learning though, I’ve realised I can lean.

When people ask me how our relationship works, or question how what was once deemed impossible (by me, and for me!) has become a daily reality, our answer is simple. We don’t compromise. We merely take our turns.

Follow Cath Jenkin on Twitter

For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!

- Women24


Read News24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Wilson Ochieng
DP Ruto accuses Raila of selling ...

DP Wiliam Ruto has castigated Raila Odinga for seeking western support to fund his 2017 election bid. Read more...

Submitted by
William Korir
Peter Kenneth announces Uhuru 201...

Peter Kenneth has announced that he will support President Uhuru Kenyatta in the 2017 elections. Read more...

Submitted by
Wilon Ochieng
Labour Party to dump both Jubilee...

The Labour Party of Kenya is likely to avoid supportoing both the CORD and Jubilee factions during the 2017 General Elections. Read more...

Submitted by
William Korir
Ukambani MP quits Jubilee, to run...

An Ukambani MP has quit the Jubilee Party, citing voter apathy as his reason behind leaving the ruling coalition. Read more...

Submitted by
Victor Tinto
Government launches probe into Po...

The government has launched an inquiry into the circumstances that could have led to two National Police Service helicopter accidents in August and September this year. Read more...

Submitted by
Wilwon Ochieng
Deputy Governor's ally found with...

The EACC has recovered KES 2 million in fake currency from a close ally of Deputy Governor for Tharaka Nithi Eliud Mati. Read more...